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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %INTIMATE RELATION HONEST CONFLICT RESOLUTION BOND 921211 The following are intimately related to each other for reasonable, logical, natural reasons---which we need to recognize, understand and deal with: 1. Dishonesty 2. Misleading behavior 3. Secretive behavior 4. Defensiveness 5. Insecurity 6. Poverty 7. Powerlessness 8. Offensiveness 9. Attacks 10. Forgetfulness Dishonesty, misleading behaviors and secretiveness are all aspects of the defensive and offensive behaviors by which insecure and powerless people seem to compensate for their being insecure and powerless. Their attacks upon others are their efforts to achieve security through the exercise of what they perceive to be power. Their defensiveness is an effort to achieve security through the achievement of invulnerability. In paradoxical ways such people often appear to be powerful and are often regarded by many people as being among the most powerful people on earth; but they are wearing false power as a mask which hides their true nature and character. In reality they lack true self esteem and cannot learn from their mistakes, because they are forgetful in the midst of the mistakes in their futile conflicts. The following are also intimately related to each other for reasonable, logical, natural reasons---which we need to recognize and understand in order to be able to deal with the above disintegrative realities: 1. Honesty 2. Integrity 3. Openness 4. Vulnerability 5. Security 6. Wealth 7. Power 8. Conflict-resolution 9. Gentleness 10. Creative-learning Honesty, integrity and openness are keys to being whole and healthy through true communications, dialogue and conversations which bring our essentially complementary but differing parts together; and bond them into coherent whole persons and relationships within secure communities. True security is the freedom provided by healthy communal contexts wherein people are free to be vulnerable in open, honest, intimate, bonding relationships. Without true security---honesty, integrity and openness are inconceivable; and are rarely envisioned, conceived, dreamed of, hoped for, worked for, realized, or enjoyed. True wealth and power are discovered and created in truly secure contexts where people are free to be truly themselves---within cooperative behaviors through which they truly resolve their fundamental conflicts between/among ideals, values, goals, and the uses of means, techniques, and technologies. Truly powerful and wealthy people are free to be gentle and to learn creatively new knowledge, insights and skills---for they are secure in the true knowledge of who they are themselves, who each other is in reality, and what the natures of their inter-relationships and cooperative potentials are. They do not forget what they learn---so their power and wealth grows exponentially because their ability to learn and remember builds in proportion to all these integrative realities. The above first set of above realities are disintegrative realities which are inversely correlated with the second set of above realities which are integrative realities. The above first set of realities lead to alienation, estrangement, misunderstanding, evil relationships, disintegration, violence, injustice, addictions, terrorism, crime, wars, abuses, etc. The above second set of realities lead to reconciliation, forgiveness, mutual understanding, love relationships, integration, tenderness, justice, health, charity, responsiveness, peace, healing, etc. We need to understand and teach each new generation the nature of the above realities and how they relate to each other; so that they may search for integrity and honesty in being themselves, whole and healthy. Then there will be true fulfillment, joy, pleasure and happiness. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================