This-essay is a8507201.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %VIOLENCE IN INTIMATE CONTEXTS 850720 Sometimes people behave violently in contexts where one would normally anticipate intimate behavior. People often seek intimacy and personal acceptance, but do not anticipate the level of vulnerability which is associated with genuine intimacy and meaningful acceptance. There may be a reaction of resentment and a sudden welling up of fear upon becoming aware of the dangers of letting go and losing personal control within intimate contexts. A fear of vulnerability leads to a sense of insecurity and a reaction by which an effort is made to achieve security through clutching at violence in defensive gestures which are not thoughtful responses to the possibilities of the situation. Such a reaction show a lack of the knowledge of security as the freedom to be vulnerable, knowledge in the sense of familiarity with security as the freedom to be vulnerable. The tendency to behave violently within contexts of vulnerability is augmented by people who promote a sense of responsibility for always being in control, defensively "secure", disciplined, etc. That sense of responsibility comes to haunt the person in search of meaningful security within intimate contexts which involve in an essential way mutual vulnerability, openness and honesty. The responsibility calls the haunted person to repent of yielding to the temptation to be meaningfully vulnerable within an intimate context. Guilt sets in and the haunted person may lash out in self defense against the accusations of the ghost by being violent towards the nearest available target, perhaps one whom they were tempted to love in violation of the responsibility never to be vulnerable. In this way "good" people may suddenly and inexplicably become violent. Their violence is rooted in their evil sense of responsibility that they must never be caught being vulnerable. If the fulfillment of an ideal essentially requires alienation, the ideal is evil. Vulnerability and intimacy are essential to human communities, they need to be positively accepted and affirmed within appropriate contexts. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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