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This-essay is a7805184.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %PRESUMPTION OF LIKENESS 780518 We are often trapped by our assumption that other people are very much like us, if not just like us. Such a presupposition flies in the face of the great individual differences which exist between people. Great differences exist between us as regards: previous experiences, our responses to previous experiences, languages which we have learned---both verbal and non-verbal, meanings which we associate with communication symbols---both verbal and non-verbal, what we value, what we look-down upon, our desires, our needs, our motivations, etc. If we assume that another person is like we are in one of these respects, we are likely to get into trouble. It is better to take steps to test our assumption in a way that does not involve great risk---before we act in a risky situation upon an unverified assumption. It is not easy to avoid the presumption of likeness. Even to say "hello" upon meeting involves making some presumption of likeness. Different people say "hello" in different ways. What is expected in one culture may be offensive in another culture, and vice versa. To fail to fulfill expectations with regard to initial greetings in one culture may cause consternation---yet to fulfill such a ritual in another culture may cause consternation. Thus even at the level of initial meeting there is risk as to what presumptions of likeness are made. The risk of presumption of likeness continues as a relationship deepens. At each level of the development of an intimate relationship, the participants inevitably make presumptions of likeness---and need to take care not to be trapped in risky situations with false assumptions. There is a need to anticipate and respect diversity in people. It can be a rewarding experience to look for and enjoy relating to people who are essentially different than we are. It is a meaningful challenge to transcend the barriers to communication which individual differences between people pose. It is a great source of misunderstanding, frustration, and alienation to approach different people with thoughtless presumptions of likeness---perhaps even demanding that they be like us as if they had a responsibility to conform to our definitions of propriety. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7805184.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One