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This-essay is a7805183.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MUTUALITY IN DECISIONS 780518 There are times when intimate friends must make difficult decisions which neither one likes. There is the risk in such a situation that one will take the initiative toward the necessary decision and assume a disproportionate share of the responsibility, blame, guilt, regret, pain, etc. associated with the decision; with the other person trapped in a related perverse role. Because of this risk there is a correlated risk of neither person taking the necessary initiatives to move the union towards the wisest decision---letting procrastination and indirect behavior ultimately make the decision. Because of this latter risk there is the further risk that the friends will not be patient enough to permit the situation to mature well enough for them to gain adequate visions of their alternative options. With inadequate visions friends may not recognize which visions are viable enough to be realized, and which visions would demand more for realization than they have to give. These considerations make it difficult for intimate friends to approach difficult decisions wisely. In such difficult situations friends may hope that upon maturation of the situation they might jointly/simultaneously realize the wisest decisions--- experience it as being an appropriate gift offered to both and accepted by both in a way which leaves both equally responsible for the decision which was accepted. Such a resolution of the need for a decision nurtures the continuity of mutuality in the friendship---even if the decision involves a regrettable separation. Even after mutually accepting such a decisive gift, friends may be tempted to return to their former situation---and individually reconsider the mutually accepted gift decision. The more difficult and regrettable the decision, the greater will be the temptation to reconsider it and seek an easier course of action. For this reason casual reconsiderations need to be avoided. At the same time, care needs to be taken to avoid taking too seriously (and as if ultimate) decisions which were accepted while trapped in a collusion, while the victims of false-presumptions-of-likeness, or while otherwise the victims of perceptions which clouded the visions of possible options. Mutual thoughtful reconsideration should be possible. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7805183.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One