blog traffic analysis
This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %APPROACH MANNER RELATE DEVELOPMENT SECURE DEFENSE+950102 %INITIAL MEETING SELF OTHER SAY HELLO OK BEING SELF+950102 %CORPORATE ORGANIZE DEFENSE INSECURE OFFENSIVE EVIL+950102 %ANTAGONISTIC ATTACH VIOLENT DRAMA ASSUMPTION FAIL+950102 %GENEROUS GIVE GIFT FREEDOM SAFE VULNERABLE JOY+950102 %TRUST RISK CONFLICT RESOLUTION PEACE ADDICT SIN 950102 The manner in which our personal and corporate relationships develop depends greatly upon the manners in which we approach each other in our personal and corporate relationships. If we approach each other insecurely in manners which are dominated by compulsive preoccupations with the defense of our own self and our own self-interests; i.e., in an insecure defensive manner---then our relationships develop as defensive, antagonistic, and violent dramas which confirm the assumptions inherent in the initial approaches. If we approach each other securely in manners which are infused with generous giving of secure gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable in being true to self and other---then our relationships develop as gracious dramas which make clear the integrative meanings and satisfactions of love, charity, reconciliation, forgiveness, and mutual personal understanding. Insecure, defensive and selfish approaches invite the development of more insecurity, defensiveness and offensive efforts. Secure and generous approaches invite the development of more security, generosity and gracious efforts. Within the context of defensive and selfish approaches distrust and ignorance grow with each misunderstanding and occasion of disintegrative ignorance. Within the context of secure and generous approaches trust and mutual understanding grow with each mutual understanding and occasion of true integrative intimacy. Within the contexts of defensive and selfish approaches You-Messages dominate and discourage the offering of I-Messages of personal affirmations of being true to self and other about personal experiences which are gladly owned and reported. Within the contexts of secure generous approaches many honest I-Messages are often offered and encourage others to respond with their own gladly owned honest I- Messages. Honest I-Messages encourage responses which are both affirmations of previous I-Messages, and clarifications of previous I-Messages which report different people's different experiences. Ignorance and misunderstanding are reduced through the offering of responsible I-Messages which charitably clarify the differences between the experiences of different people. Ignorance and misunderstanding are increased through an emphasis upon alienative You-Messages which are focused upon coercive: expectations, demands, requirements, laws, rules, regulations, judgments and condemnations. Conflicts are truly resolved with mutual satisfaction for former participants when the emphasis is upon gracious I-Messages gently offered and gladly welcomed. Conflicts are heightened with mutual dis-satisfaction for the continuing participants when the emphasis is upon alienative You-Messages angrily offered and resentfully received. These considerations are relevant at all levels of intimacy and become the more significant as the levels of intimacy, trust, risk and vulnerability increase. They are particularly relevant within intimate personal relationships which entail sexual desires and responses. These considerations are not honestly clarified through any compulsive emphasis upon objectivity, fragmentive analysis, measurements, computations, predictions and/or controls. These considerations may be clarified honestly through meditation, reflection and participation in the personal sharing of reflexive experiences. Both our personal and communal integrity depend greatly upon manner in which we initially approach each other in our personal and corporate relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================