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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %INTENTION TENSION TENSE EXPECTATION ANTICIPATION+931115 %EXCLUSIVE SELECTIVE PRETENTIOUS ARROGANT PRETEND+931115 %REALITY IMPOSSIBLE TRUTH HONESTY BALANCE NARROW+931115 %SICKNESS DISEASE HEALTH DOCTOR RECOVERY CONFLICT 931115 Often our unrealistic intentions literally put us under constant tension as we pretend to be and do what is really impossible for us to truly be and do. When we focus our attention excessively narrowly and exclusively we often place ourselves in tensions which keep us so tense as to undermine our health, our whole well being, our being whole, our holy being ourselves, and our being true to ourselves and each other. Our sicknesses and diseases are often related to our intense defensive concerns which keep us from being relaxed and at ease. Our attempts to achieve security through our defensive efforts are pretentious and put us under constant tension; because it is impossible to achieve true security and relaxation which can be enjoyed only as the accepted gift of the freedom to be safely vulnerable. Often we try to achieve in a short time what can only evolve during a lifetime. In attempting to appear to achieve in a short time what can only evolve during a life time we become dishonestly pretentious, and so are under constant tension as we try to make our pretensions to appear not to be pretentious. Pretending that our dishonesty is not dishonest puts us under perpetual tension, because we must constantly be ready to defend and obscure the false appearances which we try to maintain in the face of the many truths and insights which might undermine our false appearances. When we do not know how to resolve our conflicts with each other, or simply fail to work on resolving our conflicts with each other, then we are in contention with each other over our unresolved conflicts pertaining to our conflicting: assumptions, presumptions, attitudes, beliefs, convictions, perceptions, experiences, expectations, intentions, ideals, goals, and values. When we are more interested in prevailing, winning, overcoming, domination, management, administration and control---than we are interested in honest mutual understanding, dialogue, communication, cooperation and reconciliation---then we are bound to be led by our exclusive interests into endless conflicts which give perverse meaning to our contentious and disintegrative lives. If we do not know how to take time to relax, then we are bound to fall into the abyss of endless contention with each other in our exclusive preoccupations with ideals and values that put us into tension within endless unresolved conflicts and crises which serve to make our lives perversely meaningful and exciting. Our enthusiasm for such excitement leads to the disintegration of our selves as persons and to the disintegration of our communities which nourish our being and changing as we integrate or disintegrate how we are who we are. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================