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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9209221.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %PERVERT POSITIVE NEGATIVE EXPECT ANTICIPATE LOVE 920922 Our emotional lives and behaviors are profoundly influenced by the kinds of expectations and anticipations which guide us. Expectations and anticipations may be: positive or negative, gentle or coercive, supportive or threatening, affirming or judgmental, liberating or imprisoning, etc. Expectations and anticipations which are: positive, gentle, supportive, affirming and/or liberating---may become patterns upon which we may (through perversions) base other contrasting expectations and anticipations which are: negative, coercive, threatening, judgmental, and/or imprisoning. We may think that the nature of the pattern we use will determine the nature of what we create---but it is not always so. Through processes of perversion we may use positive patterns in ways which lead us to negative results. We need to recognize, talk about and understand the nature of the perverse processes through which we can use positive patterns in ways which lead us to negative results. When we use positive patterns of expectation and anticipation to guide us toward conformal standards of personal attitudes and behavior---we fall into the alienative traps of believing that through conformal standards we can achieve the "good personal attitudes and behaviors" to which the standards point. Personal attitudes and behaviors cannot be manipulated, controlled, regulated, and achieved in the same way which objects can be manipulated, controlled, regulated and achieved within the objective realm of reality and relationships. The elements of the objective paradigm do not serve well as patterns to guide us in the realm of intimate personal relationships. When we use elements of the objective paradigm to guide us in the realm of intimate personal relationships we tend to pervert many expectations and anticipations which are: positive, gentle, supportive, affirming and/or liberating. To enjoy positive, gentle, supportive, affirming and/or liberating results we must use elements of each paradigm within the contexts where they are appropriate; and not thoughtlessly transplant elements of a paradigm to contrasting contexts where they are not appropriate---and so lead to personal and communal disintegration. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================