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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ACCEPT DEAL CONFUSE MEMORIES TRAGIC CHILDHOOD FAIL 900606 We cannot deal wisely with the challenges of our daily lives so long as we repress and deny the reality of our confused memories of the tragedies and misfortunes of our own childhoods. As children we could not deal wisely with situations which we did not understand and could not control. We internalized inappropriate conclusions which cry out to be examined and revised in the light of more knowledge and understanding which we now have. If we repress those cries we continue to be haunted by inappropriate conclusions, and are both driven and led by them to repeat the tragic mistakes which were made by those close to us in our childhood. If we do not consciously examine the inappropriate conclusions of our childhood, we find ways to try to recreate the situations in which we drew those conclusions-in; unconscious efforts to recreate those situations and fix those situations as children still struggling to deal with them according to our knowledge and understanding as children. Children of emotionally dead and/or dysfunctional parents marry each other and recreate emotionally dead and/or dysfunctional families within which to unconsciously try to resolve the unresolved conflicts and issues of childhood. In such unconscious families there is no real understanding of the nature of the tragedies, conflicts, misunderstandings, addictions, denials, repressions, and relationships which characterize them. In such unconscious families there are persistent efforts to be in control of the deterioration and disintegration; to control others through threats of conditional love, acceptance and rejection which hurt others in response to our being hurt by them. The threats cause hurts even if the threats are not fulfilled in any intentional way. Tragedy begets tragedy in the absence of true knowledge, love and understanding. We need to resurrect our confused memories of our tragic childhoods by coming together to understand them in the secure context of love which is willing to take appropriate risks and to demonstrate being worthy of true trust in ways which are worthy of respect and emulation. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================