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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9005122.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ROMANCE ADDICTION IDEALISM VISION ENVIRONMENT LOVE 900512 Romance has to do with idealistic visions of an environment which is more suitable to simple fulfillment than is the real world. Romance has to do with enjoying fulfillment because of the idealistic environment rather than because of the integrity with which one responds to the people in environment. Romance has to do with being the beneficiary of an environment conducive to being a fulfilled person without much effort, pain, ambiguity, paradox or challenging mystery. Romance is made for people who like to pretend and engage in pretense. Romance is made for idealists and perfectionists. Romance is made for people who expect the world to meet their needs. In its perverted extreme forms romance is for addicts and codependents who have lost touch with the real world of honest dialogue about real personal experiences which are often painful, challenging, embarrassing, paradoxical, ambiguous and unexpected in ways beyond control. Some addicts seek to get their fixes, their highs, their fulfillment in romantic settings; often constructed at great expense with real money and/or in isolation from the real world. The disease of romance addiction is progressive like all forms of addiction; driving the victims to greater and greater lengths to get the level of satisfaction which came more easily in the past. This puts greater and greater strain on supportive codependents who find some advantage in encouraging the romantic addict in his/her ventures into romanticism. Addictive romanticism is addictive in the way it leads its victims into progressively more extreme forms of detachment from reality in pretentious living, unbalanced life styles, the erosion of personal and communal integrity, and progressive games of mutual self deception regarding what real living is. The more a person's romanticism gets in the way of balanced healthy living, the more clearly it is a form of addictive romanticism. Addictive romanticism begins when the romantic begins to be unable to tell the difference between romantic visions, and healthy living which balances the various aspects of a whole life through dialogue with various kinds of people. The romantic addict compulsively seeks to find the ideal context, and disintegrates in the search. The healthy person is honestly responsive to the present context, and integrates elements of it in healthy ways which promote personal and communal integrity. The disintegration and integration grow exponentially in each case. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================