This is http://www.essayz.com/a8903031.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ADDICT SYMPATHY RESCUE PRESENT OPEN HONEST HELP 890303 The addict and codependent need help in learning how to be open and honest in dialogue. Such help can be offered by being personally present in active listening which elicits open and honest conversation about personal experiences. It is essential to be open and honest about the difference between such honest presence, and attachment in collusive games of mutual self deception. The addict does not know how to be present in open and honest conversations. The addict does know how to attach others in collusive games of mutual self deception. The addict has learned how to elicit and manipulate others' sympathy; and how to turn their sympathy into unmeasured rescue missions which enable the addict to avoid open and honest conversations about mistakes made and denied. People who sympathize with the addict run the risk of becoming attached as codependents; unless they know how to be personally present in open and honest conversation in spite of addicts' manipulative maneuvers. The essence of liberation through education is the process of becoming free to be personally present in open and honest conversations. The essence of liberation through education is not the content of the knowledge; not the subject matter. The essence of liberal education is the transcendence of the collusive games of mutual self deception which are characteristic of communities entrapped in addictive, codependent and technocratic patterns of behavior. The essence of salvation and redemption is the freedom to be present in open and honest conversation; to be securely present in intimate relationships which involve vulnerability. In such relationships there is no need to be defensive. There is no temptation to alienate others through defensive maneuvers. People who are attached to addicts in collusive games of mutual self deception need to pray for the freedom to enjoy open and honest conversation. They need to pray for liberation from their attachment. They need to pray for the courage to detach from their games of mutual self deception and to begin participating in open and honest conversations with people who are willing to be non- threatening participants in such conversations. In open and honest conversations people learn that it is possible to be secure in vulnerable intimacy. They learn that meaningful personal relationships are not achievements reached through manipulative techniques which undermine open and honest conversations. Rather, meaningful personal relationships develop within the context of open and honest conversations which lead towards paradigm conversions that are transformations of traditional habits of mind and heart into integrative habits of mind and heart. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================