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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8810291.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TRAITOR SECRET FEAR SELF REVELATION EYE CONTACT 881029 The potential traitor to the collusive cause fears self revelation to friends who support the cause. Friends and potential friends are both friends and threats of exposure. One must be careful not to reveal one's self to others whom one does not know fully. One must not reveal one's self fully to others whom one does not know fully. Those whom one does not know fully will probably not reveal themselves fully to you for the same reason. The fear that others have not revealed themselves fully is the foundation for one's own fear to reveal ones own self fully, and vice versa. This is all true in time of war when there is doubt about the propriety of the extreme positions taken by persons on each side of the battle. Those who have doubts about dedication to the position taken by "their" side, will be careful about revealing their doubts to those who have no doubts whatsoever about the position taken by their side of the conflict. The potential traitor to the cause fears self revelation to those who fully support the cause. Friends and potential friends are both friends and threats of exposure. The pattern of doubt, fear, concern, secrecy also exists within people who are unwitting participants in the collusive games of mutual self deception which characterize addictive and codependent behavior in addictive organizations, professions, institutions and nations. In such situations the fear of self revelation runs deep, because desperation runs deep. In desperate situations convictions run deep, faith in beliefs becomes desperate, doubt becomes a sign of lack of faith and loyalty, and the consideration of alternatives is the mark of a potential traitor. In the desperation of addicts and codependents it is dangerous to show any lack of faith in the convictions of the paradigm. It is dangerous to suggest alternative beliefs for consideration and evaluation. It is dangerous to reveal any doubts. Eye contact and intimate friendships are dangerous in the context of the collusive games of mutual self deception which are played in all addictive and codependent organizations, professions, institutions and nations. Such dangers are real whenever the persons who are into addictive and codependent behaviors have power to make real differences in your life as: spouse, parent, lover, daughter, son, teacher, professor, employer, police, KGB, communist hunter, supervisor, corporate president, legislator, judge, congressman or President. People who are into addictive and codependent behavior find it impossible to be open and honest in transforming conversations. They cannot listen with any comfort to others who are in open and honest dialogue. It is dangerous to reveal one's self to them as a person who values open and honest dialogue. To them the collusive games of mutual self deception are the paradigm which holds their whole world together. To them any form of honesty is an apparent threat to the integrity of their dishonest world. To attempt to be honest is the sign of the traitor. These considerations are worthy of attention regardless of the focal substance or process of the addictive and codependent behavior: alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, other drugs, spending, ownership, work, scholarship, service, sex, defense, security, etc. When there is less than full openness and honesty about the focal substance or process, and full openness and honesty seems inconceivable, these considerations are worthy of attention. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================