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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONTROLLING LOVE ADDICTIVE BEHAVIOR GOD # 880225 Addicts try to control love and its expressions. God is Love and will not be controlled. Those who try to control love will fail in their efforts and will not know love. Love is not a goal which can be achieved through efforts to be in control. Love is not achieved through any kind of perfection. Addicts try to be in control, including trying to be in control of love. As is usually the case for addictive behavior, the efforts to control love fail; but they are made to appear to be successful. Addictive behavior is deceptive behavior. Failure is made to look like some kind of success. Hopeless situations are dressed up to look hopeful. Confusing situations are made to look normal. Efforts to be in control of love are made to look respectable and worth while by confusing the difference between manipulation and love; e.g., manipulative paternalism is regarded as genuine love. Love can not be controlled by systematic, scientific, professional, religious, mystical, or institutional efforts. God as Love yields to no effort to be in control of Love. Those who pretend to be God's Administrators and in control of Love are false prophets who engender alienation and evil behavior on the part people who do not know genuine love---in part because of the confusion generated by false prophets' manipulative efforts. Those who have not known love intimately often try to be in control of that which they have missed and do not know. Love will not be owned or controlled. Love may be given and received but not owned or controlled. Love can not be measured, rationed or horded. Love which is kept is lost. Love which is shared is with the giver and receiver still. Love continues in relationships which are open, honest and non-manipulative. Love is not owned and controlled by individuals (whether personal or corporate). Love guides the development of personal and communal integrity through integrative relationships. Love works for integration rather than for conformity to idealistic standards of behavior. Love works for reconciliation, conversion, conversation, communion, community, unity, integration, integrity and the resolution of conflicts and dichotomies. Love does not seek to be in control, but to set people free to be true to themselves and each other. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================