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This-essay is a8012021.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %JACK'S EXPECTATIONS 801202 Jack expects Jill to behave in certain ways; he has expectations. Jack regards Jill as having the responsibility to fulfill his expectations, and he as having the responsibility/authority to occasion fulfillment of that responsibility. Sometimes Jack is disappointed by Jill, because she fails to fulfill his expectations. Jack resents Jill's failure. Because Jill accepts Jack's assumptions and perspectives she regrets having failed to fulfill Jack's expectations, and regards herself as being responsible for his disappointment and resentment. In a sincere effort to prevent Jill from failing in the future Jack seeks to control Jill by a system of punishments and rewards. Jack seeks to help Jill to be successful in fulfilling his expectations. Jill feels guilty for having failed to satisfy Jack, and accepts Jack's systematic efforts to control her. Jack and Jill enter a collusion within which they are virtually completely alienated from each other. Jack and Jill may be individual persons, yet often Jack is not one person: he is an institution, a corporation, a sub-culture, a tradition. Jill continues to be an impotent individual who accepts Jack's assumptions and perspectives, and Jack's violent ways. Jack and Jill continue to be alienated within their mutually accepted collusion which promotes the fulfillment of conventional expectations. Their system is very stable and deadly, but doesn't have the tendency to decay as do most dead organisms. The system kills, but does not itself decay. The effects are much the same whether Jack is an individual person (male or female), an institution, a corporation, a sub-culture, or a tradition. Even if Jack is religious or a religion, the effect is the same. Humane relationships do not grow in the context of certain expectations regarding person's desires, feelings, and behavior. intimacy is inhibited by any system of rewards and punishments designed to promote success by the manipulation of regret, shame, guilt, and alienation. Human relationships which are dominated by concerns about expectations, disappointments, failures, and success are not humane relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a8012021.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One