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%NEGATIVE POSITIVE PROHIBITIONS ENCOURAGEMENTS SEX 040325 %MORALISTIC THEOLOGICAL WAR TERROR FREQUENT RARELY 040325 %ABSOLUTE TRUTHS PROABILITIES OPENNESS HONESTY GODS 040325 %INTIMACIES INVULNERABILITY SECURITY DEFENSES DEVIL 040325 %GUIDELINES WALLS FENCES BOUNDARIES SUGGESTIONS SIN 040325 %GUILT SHAME EMBARRASS FEAR ALIEN INTEGRITY PEACE 040325 There is within many cultures a tendency to make moral and theological statements about sexuality in negative terms, more frequently than in positive terms. There are MORE prohibitions about sexuality and intimacy than there are encouragements towards healthy sexuality and intimacy. What are some of the possible reasons for this imbalance which favors prohibitions, and neglects encouragements of intimacy and healthy sexual relationships? Consider the following "hints" about what might be the possible reasons, causes, and inter- relationships that are "behind" the imbalance: 1. Domineering leaders playing dominant roles? 2. Fear predominating over Love and True-Lovers? 3. God being described as a domineering leader? 4. Ignorance predominating over true knowledge? 5. Sexual ignorance maintained by fearful peoples? 6. False knowledge about who is good and/or evil? 7. Eating of the tree of sexual knowledge of good? 8. Eating of the tree of sexual knowledge of evil? 9. Not knowing the nature of EVIL-RELATIONSHIPS? 10. Not knowing the nature of LOVE-RELATIONSHIPS? 11. Exclusivity dominating over inclusivity in Love? 12. Preoccupations with controls and invulnerability? 13. Believing that invulnerability brings security? 14. Believing that vulnerability brings insecurity? 15. Believing that true-beliefs are not important? 16. Believing that false-beliefs are important? 17. Being embarrassed by sexual knowledge? 18. Not being free to let-go in any sanctuary? 19. Not being truly loved in truly intimate ways? 20. Striving for perfection, rather than intimacy? 21. Striving to fulfill ideal-forms, not visions? 22. Striving to-conform, rather than to-dialogue? 23. Striving to-command, rather than to-listen? 24. Striving to-control, rather than be-in-Love? 26. Striving to-overcome, rather than to be-true? 27. Striving to-protect collusions, not authenticity? 28. Striving to-protect invulnerability, not honesty? 29. Striving to-protect possessions, not authenticity? 30. Striving to-protect conformity, not creativity? What realistic steps can we take to start to move toward a more healthy balance between statements of caution about the risks of intimacy and sexuality; and statements of encouragement about growing into healthy intimate relationships and sexual relationships? Obviously there will need to be a healthy balance between emphases upon: formalities, informalities, instincts, rationality, laws, rules, regulations, descriptions, prescriptions, proscriptions, demonstrations, role- modeling, texts, songs, dance, art, stories, traditions, spontaneity, creativity, etc. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================