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%BLACK/WHITE EITHER/OR RIGHT/WRONG PROPER/IMPROPER 040326 %GOOD/EVIL PERMITTED/FORBIDDEN DICHOTOMOUS GOODS 040326 %DEVIL COERCIVE EFFORT DOMINATION SYSTEMS ANALYSIS 040326 %INTIMACIES SEXUALITY MORALITY SPIRITUALITY IDEALS 040326 %FORMALITIES PROPRIETIES APPEARANCES OPEN HONESTLY 040326 %SECRET PRIVACY PUBLIC SCANDALS GOSSIP RUMORS SINS 040326 Many EVIL-RELATIONSHIPS originate in the coercive- efforts-of-people-who-are domineering/coercive and who demand-in-coercive-ways that they must-have-the-right to extract-from-certain-other-people dichotomous-YES-or-NO- answers about the nature-of-their-private-well-integrated- relationships which are in fact NOT: dichotomous and cannot be describe honestly in exclusively dichotomous- YES-or-NO-responses to questions which are dichotomous, intrusive and lacking in respect for people's privacy. Many healthy, open and honest relationships are more like-rainbows-of-colors-in-the-sky --- than like the stark-contrasts-between-black-and-white within dull paintings where there are no-gradations-between- beautiful-and-diverse colors, tones, hues, etc. Healthy-relationships often demonstrate interesting kinds of wonderful-integrity which cannot-be-described-honestly in terms of: black/white, either/or, right/wrong, proper/improper, good/evil, etc. It is disintegrative-for-domineering-people-to-demand that vulnerable-people use-only-dichotomous-terms to describe all-of-the-healthy-integrities-of-their- close-friendships to people-who-are-immature and prone-to-focus-upon-only: black/white, either/or, right/wrong, proper/improper, good/evil, permitted/forbidden, etc. Invasions of people's private and healthy lives will not protect vulnerable people who cannot adequately protect their own humane rights as described in constitutions and the Universal Declaration of Human Rights of the United Nations of Space-Ship- Earth. If healthy people who are well integrated do not work cooperatively to create sanctuary communities within which vulnerable people can create healthy new intimate relationships that are like beautiful rainbows in the sky; then immature domineering/coercive people will inhibit the evolution of such integrative relationships by coercively intruding into such integrative relationships to demand dichotomous answers to dichotomous questions in terms of only mutually-exclusive-categories such as: black/white, either/or, right/wrong, proper/improper, good/evil, etc. Dictators will take charge of the crew of Space-Ship- Earth. Dictators, domineering-people, coercive-people, etc. cannot tolerate FULL-SPECTRUMS-OF: possibilities, colors, people, integrities, races, cultures, views, diversity, musical-instruments, tones, orchestrations, ideas, ideals, visions, fantasies, principles, tunes, songs, poems, kinds-of-True-Lovers or forms-of-creativity. Copying their life-styles, assumptions, attitudes and ways of dealing with "different-people" will do no good. Beware of copy-cat-patterns-of-behavior when dealing with dictators, domineering-people, coercive people, etc. True-Lovers demonstrate far more helpful ways of responding to such immature-patterns-of-behavior. Our True-Lovers demonstrate the importance of building upon and extending the essential foundations for personal and communal integrities. Violence begets violence. Coercion begets coercion. Dishonesty begets dishonesty. Secrecy begets secrecy. Wars beget wars. Terrorism begets terrorism. Domination beget domination. Domination-Systems beget Domination-Systems. Alienation begets alienation. Arrogance begets arrogance. Self-righteousness begets self-righteousness. Judgementalism begets judgementalism. Airs-of-superiority beget more of the same. Negations beget negations. Denigrations beget denigrations. Disrespect begets disrespect. To escape from the above tragic and futile cycles --- we must work to understand the cycles --- and in informed/intentional ways decide to GO-AGAINST-THE-FLOW in ways which are based-upon knowledge-and-understanding; rather than based-upon ignorance, prejudices-and-mis- understandings. To behave wisely and prudently we must prepare thoroughly by studying and clarifying the essential foundations for: (1) personal-and-communal-integrities, (2) open-and-honest-dialogue, including listening, (3) mutual-understanding-and-trust, (4) reconciliation, healing and peacemaking, (5) enjoying-security-while-being-safely-vulnerable, (6) long-term-reconciliation and cooperation. Usually it will be helpful for us to declare openly, honestly and publicly when we make the above kind of change in outlook and intention; and it will be helpful to give our own personal reasons for us making such changes in our outlook and intentions. Our behaviors and public statements must demonstrate coherence and integrity --- else people are unlikely to feel free to trust us; especially when we "change-course" or revert to "traditional-ways". Shalom! (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================