This-essay is a9905263.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %NATURE HUMAN REFLEXIVE RELATIONSHIPS FRIENDSHIPS+990526 %IMPOSSIBILITIES OBJECTIVE CONTROLS DESIRABLE SINS+990526 %EVIL ALIENATION ESTRANGEMENT EXCOMMUNICATION GODS+990526 %COMBINATIONS PERMUTATIONS SIMPLE COMPLEX ROLES 990526 People are often preoccupied with issues of unilateral control in regards to human relationships. People who are so preoccupied often deceive themselves and each other regarding the possibilities of such control --- thinking that various forms of unilateral control are possible/desirable; when such controls are not possible and not desirable. Such people are victims of their own collusive games of mutual self deception --- but keep from knowing just how they are victims. Inter-personal human relationships are complex because of the inevitable reflexive aspects of the relationships. People reflect upon their own and upon each other's roles in so far as they are: PRESCRIBED PROSCRIBED INHIBITED DESIRED REPRESSED ENVISIONED WANTED SCRIPTED FEARED ENVISIONED DREAMED PLANNED INTENDED CONFUSED PREJUDICED CONTENTIOUS COERCIVE VIOLATED VIOLENT INTEGRATED DISINTEGRATED HEALTHY DISEASED INJURED DYSFUNCTIONAL RESPONSIVE RESPONSIBLE INTERESTED INTERESTING COMPETENT RESPECTED SUPPORTED HONORED SUCCESSFUL FULFILLED CONNECTED FRIENDLY INTIMATE JUST FAIR GENTLE LOVING HUMBLE ARROGANT SELF-RIGHTEOUS There are countless possible combinations of participants in relationships with further countless possible manners of approach to each other within countless possible contexts, expectations, hopes, fears, etc. The possible permutations and combinations are endless. It is dishonest to think and pretend otherwise. People and communities of integrity do not think and pretend otherwise --- and readily recognize people who do think and pretend otherwise; and respond to them accordingly. Although unilateral-control is dysfunctional and usually impossible --- there are other possibilities which are integrative, desirable, and helpful: COOPERATION NEGOTIATION PEACEMAKING HUMILITY GENTLENESS CONFLICT-RESOLUTION DIALOGUE LISTENING DISCERNMENT RESPONSIVENESS CONFIRMATION MUTUAL-UNDERSTANDING LIBERATION HEALING RECONCILIATION CLARIFICATION ARTICULATION FORGIVENESS The alternatives which are available are not limited to unilateral-control or surrender. Colluders often feel, think and act as if there are only two alternatives. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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