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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9805072.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %SEXUAL KNOWLEDGE INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP VULNERABLE+980507 %SAFETY SECURITY DEFENSIVE OPEN HONEST RELATIONSHIP+980507 %INTERCOURSE DIALOGUE COMMUNICATION LOVE SIN FAIL+980507 %GOOD EVIL ESTRANGEMENT BALANCE EXTREMISTS ABUSE 980507 In Old Testament accounts of sexual intercourse the terms used were "they knew each other" or "he went into her". These were not "polite company" allusions to the nature of sexual relationships. In what sense do people who truly engage in intimate sexual relationships "know each other"? They are able to come to know each other because: 1. They are not being defensive. 2. They are not withholding secrets. 3. They do not engage in misleading behaviors. 4. They are not dishonest with each other. 5. They do not play collusive games of self- deception. 6. They do not try to take advantage of each other. 7. They are not in competition, but in cooperation. 8. They do not abuse each other's vulnerability. 9. They seek balance in their relationships. 10. They seek to complement each other honestly. 11. They seek to be engaged in open and honest dialogue. 12. They do not seek to be "superior" to each other. 13. They are not preoccupied with issues of control. 14. They are truly interested in listening to each other. 15. They give/accept freedom to be safely vulnerable. 16. They do not keep score. 17. They seek to resolve conflicts, rather than win them. 18. They honor forgiveness, reconciliation and unity. 19. In Love they transcend disintegrative fears. 20. They share firm foundations for healing hope. Those people who do NOT honor, respect and appreciate these reasons for being free to know each other --- are often strangers to each other --- no matter how close they get to each other physically. They are often trapped in relationships of alienation, estrangement, separation, division, fragmentation, analysis, criticism, judgments, coercion, violence, condemnations, and excommunication. They find it impossible to know and understand each other in any meaningful/cooperative ventures. They know each other only as adversaries, combatants, antagonists, enemies, etc. In truth they do not know each other and they fear the calls of Love to participate in conflict- resolution, reconciliation, and healing. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================