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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %TRANSCEND EVIL RELATIONSHIPS ALIENATE CONTEND SIN+971102 %DISHONEST MANIPULATE EXCLUSIVE EITHER/OR ADDICTS+971102 %HEARTLESS SELF RIGHTEOUS ARROGANT COERCIVE FAIL+971102 %MIS-UNDERSTAND PREJUDICE CONFUSION ANGER REBELLION 971102 It is difficult to participate meaningfully in the transcendence of evil relationships --- so long as we are unable to recognize, name, describe and talk about the characteristic signs of evil relationships. 1. Evil relationships are relationships; not individual people, things, places, ideas, thoughts, behaviors, etc. Evil relationships are on-going relationships between people --- in which the people who are in the relationships are involved in perverted ways. It is the relationships which are evil, not the people. 2. Evil relationships are born of alienation and engender alienation. Alienation has to do with relationships between people. No individual can be alienated without there being another or others from whom the individual is alienated. Alienation has to do with relationships; not with individuals. Alienation is a kind of relationship, not a property or characteristic of an individual. 3. Groups of people who excommunicate, reject, exclude or in any way "alienate" other individuals from their group --- thereby alienate themselves from those who are then outside their group --- and alienate themselves from each other within the group. Their actions have chilling effects upon any and all communications which are related to or might be perceived to be related to those people who have been excommunicated, rejected, excluded and alienated from the group. Many people are not free to be open and honest with each other about such matters --- and so are alienated from each other --- whether they are inside or outside of the group. People who are outside of the group and do not care to be in the group --- are often the people who are most free to be informed about, and to discuss the taboo topics. 4. People who are participant victims of evil relationships are often: contentious, dishonest, manipulative, coercive, heartless, arrogant and/or self- righteous. Their patterns of thought and behavior engender ignorance, prejudice, confusion, misunderstand- ing, anger and rebellion --- thus promoting a vicious cycle of growth of evil relationships. 5. People who are participant victims of evil relationships are often preoccupied with the impressions which they are making upon others from whom they are alienated --- and with how to be in control of those impressions. They often seek to impress imaginary sets of people --- because they are not well-informed about the real people who are around them and from whom they are alienated. They are driven by fears which grow exponentially due to the presence of ignorance, prejudice, confusion, misunderstanding, anger and rebellion --- which are engendered by alienative relationships. Evil relationships are not overcome or eliminated by any means/technology of control, discipline, coercion, management or the like. Evil relationships are transcended only through the works of Love which include giving and accepting gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable within open and honest dialogue. The security which is essential to transcending evil relationships is not achieved; it is given and accepted by lovers who are willing to take informed and prudent risks in the sacred works of reconciliation, peacemaking and true conflict resolution. God is Love. We need to listen to the promptings of Love --- and to act in informed ways which are motivated and facilitated by Love. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================