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%RESPONDING TO RELATIONSHIPS CONTROL THREAT FEAR+970923
%DEMAND UNDERSTAND RESPECT BEING TRUE SELF OTHERS 970923
How we respond to the relationships between other
people and to the relationships within which we are
participants --- engenders our being who we are.
If our ways of responding to diverse personal
relationships are ways which revolve around issues of
control:
1. We are bound to be involved in conflicts between
conflicting: ideals, values, goals, visions, images,
ideas, dreams, desires, hopes, fears and aspirations.
2. We are unlikely to recognize the roots of our
continuing conflicts.
3. We are unlikely to deal with our continuing
conflicts in wise and prudent ways.
4. We are likely to be proud of how well we affirm
what we believe is right and proper as we continue our
conflicts --- and thereby achieve high levels of self-
righteousness.
5. We are likely to alienate ourselves from
increasingly large and diverse groups of people and their
communities.
6. We are likely to become unable to be meaningfully
involved in open, honest and intimate personal
relationships which build bridges between different people
and communities.
7. We are likely to become prejudiced, uninformed,
confused, insecure, fearful, defensive, and sure that we
are right --- and that others are wrong.
* * * * * * *
If we are compulsively preoccupied with which
STATEMENTS are true, right, respectable and honorable:
1. We are unlikely to recognize which RELATIONSHIPS
are true, righteous, integrative and healing.
2. We are likely to try to control which STATEMENTS
are made, shared, published, honored and talked about.
3. We are unlikely to participate in RELATIONSHIPS
which are open, honest, intimate, revealing, integrative
and healthy.
4. We are likely to engaged in collusive games of
mutual self-deception wherein we try to control the nature
of reality as we perceive it.
5. We are unlikely to encourage people to be true to
themselves and each other as they try to deal with their
mistakes, emotions, thoughts, desires, fears, visions,
dreams, fantasies, hopes and disintegrative tendencies.
6. We are likely to focus upon realities which we
perceive to be outside of us and which we believe should
define us and our behaviors.
7. We are unlikely to focus upon realities which are
within us and our relationships and therein define who we
are and are becoming.
(c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in
www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty
(On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy)
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