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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DEMAND HONESTY OPEN DIALOGUE+940529 %GENEROSITY SACRIFICE GIVING SECURE SAFE VULNERABLE 940529 Unconditional love offers the gift of true security known as the freedom to be safely vulnerable in open and honest dialogue---no matter what the past has been. Unconditional love invites open and honest dialogue; and is disappointed with continued alienation, distrust, deception and playing of collusive games of mutual self deception. The unconditional lover is not drawn into playing (and held as a player in) collusive games of mutual self deception. The unconditional lover will not obey the demands of an addictive other---and instead insists upon honesty; not accepting dishonesty as normal and natural. The unconditional lover continues to be true to self and others even when others are playing collusive games of mutual self deception as addicts and/or codependent supporters of addicts. True love insists on truth as the foundation of personal and communal integrity. True love does not accept deceptive manipulations and mis-representations of the truth as respectable tools by which to achieve success and salvation. True lovers see through the collusive games of mutual self deception of addictive religious leaders---who carefully select their fundamentals so as to set themselves up as superior to people from whom they are alienated and whom they fear as enemies. True lovers do not engage in defensive manipulations of: truths, perceptions, assumptions, attitudes, beliefs, convictions, commitments, and loyalties. Naive lovers may fall into the traps of leading addictive people who invite them to sacrifice themselves unconditionally and dishonestly in efforts to rescue poor addictive people from their increasingly dysfunctional patterns of behavior. The addicts are always ready, willing and able to present the naive lovers with higher levels of sacrificial challenge---to test how unconditional their commitment to "love" is. The true lover, however, is not willing to sacrifice honesty and personal integrity in support of collusive games of mutual self deception. Such sacrifice does not lead to reconciliation, recovery, or healing. Such sacrifice does not merit respect under any conditions. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================