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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ULTIMATE EVIL SIN DISINTEGRATE ALIENATE VIOLENCE+940110 %EXTREME REJECTION FAILURE HOPELESSNESS COERCION+940110 %ACCEPT REJECT TRUE SELF OTHER WHOLE INTEGRITY 940110 We and those closest and dearest to us are the victims of the ultimate forms of evil, sin, disintegration, alienation and violence if we so much fear each other's rejection that we fail to be true to ourselves about our own most primitive experiences. When we so regularly yield to collusive coercion that we cannot test conventional/conformal wisdom in terms of our own most primitive experiences---then there is NO EXIT from the collusive prisons we have constructed around ourselves, and within which we have trapped ourselves. When we always believe/accept others' explicitly and/or implicitly coercive instructions regarding which of our own most primitive experiences we may safely trust; and which we must reject as unacceptable---then there is no ground upon which we may safely accept each other as whole persons who are not always true to self and others. To survive with personal and communal integrity it is essential that we give to each other, accept from each other, and have for ourselves----a safe ground upon which to accept each other as whole persons who are trying to be true to self and others in spite of conventional/conformal wisdom which dysfunctional people try to impose upon us--- to protect their collusive addictions and their patterns of codependent support thereof. If there is no safe ground upon which we may cooperate in testing our conventional/conformal wisdom in terms of our most primitive personal experiences, then it is inevitable that we will build around ourselves and each other collusive prisons from which we will be able to escape only through death. If we can escape from our cherished collusive prisons only through death---then we are the living dead who are in need of the threatening miracle of true salvation which threatens all of our carefully woven fabrics of: dishonesty, deception, secrecy, collusions, addictions and codependent support thereof. Such a miraculous resurrection is intolerable and greatly to be feared. If our lives are dominated by fears of other people's rejections of us as persons because of our non-conformity; then we are all unable to deal creatively with the dilemmas which all of us face us each day in meeting each other on the playing fields of all the dishonest GAMES PEOPLE PLAY---because we systematically believe that WE ARE NOT O.K. and OTHERS ARE NOT O.K. for reasons of non- conformity. If conformity is the only grounds for personal acceptance, then non-conformity is always a ground for personal rejection, and we are eternally in fear of personal rejection on the grounds of non-conformity---and desperately try to find ways to conform to win each other's acceptance. That eternal fear is hell---wherein we eternally fear the truth. In heaven people eternally accept each other as whole persons who are free to be true to themselves and each other in the light of their own most primitive personal experiences---because they give to themselves and to each other the gift of true security which is the freedom to be safely vulnerable in open and honest intimate relationships. In heaven the fear of rejection for non- conformity is eliminated through the giving and accepting of the gift of true security. In heaven people learn through their mistakes because there they are free to be true to themselves and each other in open and honest dialogue about their own and each other's most primitive personal experiences---free of any coercive requirements that primitive personal experiences first be filtered through the collusive filters of conventional/conformal wisdom before they are accepted into consciousness and dialogue. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================