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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9307031.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %MUTUAL SIMULTANEOUS VULNERABILITY SECURITY+930703 %CONTROL AVERSION VIOLENCE 930703 True security and fulfillment entail mutuality with respect to: time, place, context, costs, benefits, sacrifices, power, vulnerability, honesty, intimacy, desires, responsiveness, respect, deference, etc. True security and fulfillment are often undermined by our efforts to be in control, gain unbalanced advantage, be first, gain first advantages, pay our costs later, avoid vulnerability, avoid openness and honesty, conceal our weaknesses, conceal our mistakes, etc. We cannot enjoy true security and fulfillment so long as we refuse to be honest with self and others about the multitude of ways in which we undermine our true security and fulfillment. We often do so in our dishonest public and intimate relationships with each other as adversaries and as intimate associates, lovers, spouses, parents, children and members of extended families. If we seek unilaterally to achieve security and fulfillment without respect for each other in the light of the above facts of life, we are bound to find that the closer we seem to get to our goal, the more difficult it becomes to get any closer to it and/or to enjoy getting closer to our goal. The meaning and satisfaction which we have associated with our goal in our imaginations will wither away into thin air if we achieve our goal without respect for each other in the light of the above facts of life. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================