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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LACK PERSONAL UNDERSTAND INTERNAL CONFLICT LOVE 920813 Love is often perverted by a lack of mutual understandings of internalized conflicts. People are often torn apart by internalized conflicts between and among ideals and goals which are incompatible, but which are regarded as being of ultimate importance; so there is an ultimate internal conflict which is not clearly seen or understood by self or by others. When we we are torn by ultimate internal conflicts which neither we nor others understand, we cannot feel truly loved. We are likely to become frustrated, angry and say to those who would love us, "You just do not understand!" Our lack of understanding is bound to generate frustration, anger, alienation, and estrangement; which intensify the lack of understanding, and the cycle gets worse. Such situations of lack of understanding of internalized conflicts occur between parents and children, between friends and lovers, between husbands and wives, between employer and employee. They generate conflicts and violence. It is important to seek to understand the nature of the situations; and to do what can be done to promote honest listening, dialogue, insight, and understanding. There is a growing literature about conflict resolution which can be drawn upon in efforts to promote true understanding. See books by Fisher, Urey, Brown, and Halverstadt regarding getting to yes, getting together, getting past no, and managing church conflict. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================