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This is http://www.essayz.com/a9108272.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %IMPOSE COERCE DISHONEST CAST ROLE PLAY ACCEPT 910827 It does us no good to impose/accept dishonest role playing in everyday life. It is one thing for actors on a dramatic stage in a theater to act out parts which do not correspond to their true selves. It is quite a different thing for people in their everyday lives to act out parts which do not correspond to their true selves. In the theater the acting may be revealing; in everyday life the acting is deceiving and concealing. We often dishonestly act out roles which are imposed upon us by others who are uncomfortable with us being our true selves; or maybe we impose dishonest roles to play upon ourselves because one part of us is uncomfortable with us playing our true selves with open honesty. We act dishonest roles in efforts to achieve acceptability from people who are uncomfortable with our true selves; because they are participants in collusive games of mutual self deception as addicts and/or supportive codependents. Such people are uncomfortable in the presence of others who are being open and honest; for their own dishonesty may be exposed and their paradigm profoundly challenged. True acceptability cannot be achieved. People who do not accept us as our true selves tacitly offer to accept us if we will but act out the dishonest role into which they wish to cast us. They insist on maintaining control of the casting, and will insist on being free to recast us to satisfy their shifting needs to protect their collusive games of mutual self deception. They cannot be relied upon to accept us if we meet their initial terms for acceptability. Contracts for gaining acceptability cannot be enforced; for the person who refused to accept you for your achievement of required conditions, will not accept you upon challenging their rejection. We cannot achieve acceptability in the eyes of people who tacitly offer to accept us if we will but act out the series of dishonest roles into which they wish to cast us. In the end all we can rely upon, is that they are likely to cast us out. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================