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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %WORK GOAL MORALITY ADDICTION PLAY RELAX JOY LOVE 900909 We may become addicted to goals, achievements, work, and conformity to some systems of ethics, morality, propriety. In such an addiction our attention is compulsively focused upon reaching some pre-conceived goal; and there is no time allowed for play, enjoyment, joy, relaxation, love, affection, and other ways of spending time together without pre-conceptions. The adult of our family within may become dominant and lead us to always be dealing with demonstrations of knowledge, technical competency, achievement, and general systematic know-how. Always being engaged in demonstrations of adult skills is unbalanced behavior, and ultimately leads to a fall and disintegration. Demonstrations of adult technical competency without due to regard to real human needs leads to irresponsible technocracy. When the parent within offers no guidance and makes no judgments regarding technical propriety, then compulsive demonstrations of technical sophistication become an end in themselves, and lead to technical uses of power which are chaotic and disintegrative, rather than orderly and integrative. The parent of our family within may become dominant and lead us to always be preoccupied with rules for personal propriety and acceptance. Paternalistic preoccupations with propriety in the absence of being for and supportive of a person's being authentically themselves, leads to evil behavior which is alienative in its preconceptions. Dominant parental judgmentalism leads by stages to many dis-eases and evil behavior. The parent of our family within may become dominant and thoughtlessly/regularly say yes to the desires of the child within; letting the child take over the exercise of parental authority and power. The delegation of parental authority to the child within leads to incompetency and confusion regarding ideals, values and consequences. The fun does not last long when the child is in charge. If the child within is not allowed to play within appropriate contexts for play, fun, joy, enjoyment, recreation, creation, etc.; then life becomes dull and excessively serious under the dominance of the parent within and the adult within. In the absence of the balance offered by the child's play, the meaning and satisfactions of life disintegrate. The parent within and the adult within must cooperate in creating contexts within which the child within can play creatively and give new meaning to parental authority and adult competency. The fullness of life is not found in all the preconceptions, competency,and expectations of the parent and the adult. The parent within and the adult within need to be for and give appropriate support and encouragement to the child within; else the family within will disintegrate. The child within needs to have opportunities to focus attention in ways other than the parent within and the adult within are prone to focus attention. The child within has contributions to make to the integrity of the family. If due attention is not given to the child's desires and interests, imbalance develops with tragic consequences flowing from the lack of balance. Giving due attention to the child's desires and interests does not mean that the child regularly gets its way. Responsibility does not require, however, that little or no attention be given to the child's desires and interests. The responsible parent and adult balances the child's desires and interests with reasonable parental judgement and adult technical competency, and so contribute to the development and maintenance of family integrity. Children's play is a serious matter to adults and parents who are involved in addictive, codependent and collusive beliefs, convictions, attitudes, and behaviors. Their problem is that children's play will most likely expose adult and/or parental dishonesty at one point or another. The task of maintaining proper appearances while engaged in addictive, codependent and collusive relationships is a difficult task of knitting together many incoherent deceptions into what looks like a coherent whole; and one slip can lead to the whole misleading picture becoming unraveled. Thus children's play must be minimized, if not totally repressed. Children must quickly be inducted into adult and parental concerns, else children will undermine the deceptive structure of addictive, codependent and collusive realities. From the point of view of addictive, codependent and collusive parents and adults, there are many good reasons for inhibiting children's play. There are many religious, political, business, educational, professional, sexual, and family taboos which must be maintained; no matter what the cost may be! Children's play must not be permitted to undermine the maintenance of essential taboos! Any hint of a suggestion to the contrary is taboo. All taboos must be enforced with alienation and threats of alienation. There is no other way to enforce them while keeping them hidden. Beware the child who in innocence asks too many questions. Such children must be dealt with promptly. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================