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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8912021.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %RESOLVE CONFLICT COOPERATE GETTING YES TOGETHER 891202 In most conflicts those who are in conflict assume that it is impossible for them to work together to resolve the conflict in a way which all parties can say yes to with enthusiasm. Those in conflict usually assume that they must be working on opposite sides of the conflict, that there can be no other alternative to being on opposing sides of the conflict. The beginning step of conflict resolution is for those parties who are participating in the conflict to say yes to the idea that it might be possible for them to work together in cooperative ways to find a resolution to which they can all enthusiastically say yes. The beginning step is a paradigm shift; away from the assumption that perpetual conflict is inevitable, to the assumption that conflicts can be resolved through cooperative efforts. The beginning steps to conflict resolution entail each party seeking to be unconditionally constructive; seeking always to act in constructive ways regardless of how destructive may be the behavior of others involved in the conflict. Being unconditionally constructive helps to focus critical attention upon those people whose behavior perpetuates the conflict. Failing to be unconditionally constructive tends to confuse issues by making it more difficult to focus critical attention upon the people whose behaviors play the key roles in perpetuating the conflict. Addicts tend to confuse issues. It is not easy to be unconditionally constructive. We are prone to design our actions so as to make it appear that the other party is primarily responsible for the continuation of our conflict. If the purpose of a pattern of behavior is to be sure that the other parties are loaded with the responsibility for continued conflict, it is unlikely that the behavior will be unconditionally constructive; the behavior is likely to slip into being conditionally constructive; i.e., constructed so that the other party ends up with the burden of responsibility for the continued conflict. Reflexive relationships cannot be controlled to achieve a desired end result. Reflexive relationships can be entered into with a clear desire to be unconditionally authentic, constructive, and integrative. Such entry is the key we need to use. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================