blog traffic analysis
This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HEALTH FAULTY SELF ESTEEM FIXED ADDICT ASSUMPTION 891107 Genuinely healthy people have a healthy self esteem and do not make the assumption that they are fundamentally faulty or at fault. People who are trapped in addictive and codependent patterns of assumptions, beliefs, convictions, feelings and thought often regard themselves as fundamentally faulty or at fault; and in need of being fixed, in need of a fix. The difference between health and dis-ease is not in the nature of being faulty or at fault, or in the nature of the fix which is apparently needed. The difference is in the nature of the assumptions made, and the nature of the self perception of the essence of the self. Essentially healthy people perceive themselves as essentially o.k. and perceive others as essentially o.k.; even though not perfect. Essentially healthy people are not preoccupied with perfection or imperfections, but with being themselves authentically and with joy in honest relationships. Addictive and codependent people perceive themselves as essentially faulted, not o.k., and perceive others as essentially faulted, not o.k.; as essentially not perfect. Such unhealthy people are preoccupied with perfection and imperfections, and are not free to be themselves authentically with joy in honest relationships. They focus upon what they regard as lacking in themselves (and others) and upon acquiring that which is lacking in themselves; upon whatever they feel that they need to fix their lacks, faults, imperfections, etc. The roots of the difference between essentially healthy people and people who do not enjoy health may often be found in the differences in how much they have enjoyed authentic love. Those who have not enjoyed authentic love often regard themselves as unlovable and in need of being fixed, of getting a fix. Those who have enjoyed authentic love feel no need to be fixed, because they regard themselves as essentially lovable, even though not perfect. They do not perceive perfection or freedom from faults as prerequisite to being lovable. They are free to accept and to give authentic love without regard to imperfections, cracks, faults, or faulting. They are not preoccupied with fixes, or fixing, or being fixed. They are through love free to be themselves. Addicts and codependents are preoccupied with expectations of perfection, faultlessness, conformity, propriety, etc.; and so are preoccupied with imperfections, failure, blame, shame, sin, guilt and rejection. They seek to find fixes for their imperfections, failures, blame, shame, sin and rejection; or ways to fix their feelings which are associated with their imperfections, etc. So long as such a mind set is kept, health is impossible, no matter how much effort is expanded and how many resources are dedicated to the quest for the fixing of the faults which preoccupy and undermine health. So long medical science is unable to fix what is wrong. What is needful is a new mind set which is possible to people who know Love and live within the intimate relationships which Love makes possible, through acceptance of and by people who know that they are imperfect, but are not preoccupied with their imperfections. The roots of addiction and codependence may be found taking their nutrition from efforts to promote commercial products, educational programs, belief systems, rituals, etc. as the essential means for fixing or making tolerable whatever may trouble the potential buyer, student, believer, or performer. Nutrition for addictions and codependence is drawn from encouragement to make the called for sacrifices in money, resources, time, relationships, and patterns of living to acquire the promoted produce, education, belief system, or ritual effort. Nutrition for addictions and codependence is drawn from all efforts which encourage the mind-sets and assumptions about self and other which are central to the life of addicts and codependents. They extend far beyond the group of people who are commonly recognized as addicts and codependents. They are often encouraged through manipulative inter-personal relationships designed without Love; i.e., outside the context of Love. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================