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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8906051.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LOVE NONVIOLENT INTEGRATIVE CONFLICT DESTRUCTIVE 890605 Not all conflict is violent or destructive. Some forms of conflict are creative and integrative. It is important to know the difference between destructive and integrative conflict; and to work to move all conflicts in the direction of personal and communal integration. When conflicts are not moved in integrative ways they tend to move in disintegrative ways that lead to violence and destruction. Conflicts become violent and destructive when each side of the conflict insists on its own way in an exclusive way which denies the merits of the opposing side. In such conflicts dialogue breaks down, people are uninformed and do not understand each other, and so people can not make wise decisions based upon reliable information and mutual understanding. Conflicts which move people in alienative ways lead to violence and destruction. In conflicts all participants need to work to avoid alienation. Attempts to bolster self images through self- righteousness lead to alienation. People who lack self confidence and self esteem tend to feel threatened and try to bolster their self images through self-righteous defensive posturing and aggression. Defensive aggression is a statement of insecurity, not a technique for achieving security. Security is the freedom to be vulnerable within integrative conflicts. Secure people are free to be intimate in open and honest dialogue. Real security is not achieved through defensive techniques or technologies. Real security is given through creative efforts to achieve the integrative resolution of conflicts which threaten to lead through alienation, ignorance, distrust, defensiveness, aggression, and violence to personal and communal disintegration. Real security is not achieved by people for themselves; it is given to opponents in conflicts through reconciling Love. When people do not give their opponents real security they become insecure and destructively violent. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================