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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8905181.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %GETTING TO YES AFFIRM TABOO INTEGRATIVE PRINCIPLE 890518 Love seeks ways of getting to yes in affirming integrative principles which will lead those who affirm such principles out of addictive prisons which are maintained by the addictive collusions of their addicts and codependent residents. Love does not seek to manipulate, coerce, control, overwhelm or otherwise do violence to the defenders of collusive taboos which are contrary to integrative principles. Violent confrontations only intensify the defense of the taboos which are offensively violated. In place of violent confrontations which would intensify the defense of collusive taboos, Love seeks ways of getting to yes in affirming the integrative principles which will lead those who affirm such principles out of the addictive prisons which are maintained by the addictive collusions of their innate addicts and codependents. The processes of maintaining such prisons are reflexive processes which cannot be understood by their objective residents. The process of escaping from those prisons involve taboo reflexive processes which can not be understood by residents who are compulsively dedicated to exclusively objective processes. Escaping from the collusive prison of exclusively objective processes is an essentially reflexive process which violates the taboos of the prison and its inmates. The principles for carrying out such an escape may be agreed upon without engaging in a violent conflict over defense of the prison's collusive taboos. Getting to Yes regarding the integrative principles which are violated by the collusive taboos, throws light into the prison, and helps the prisoners recognize the imprisoning nature of their residence. Only when the inmates recognize the imprisoning nature of their prison paradigm are they likely to want to escape. So long as they are defending the walls of their residence viewed as their home, they cannot leave home to explore the territory around it. So long as the residents of the paradigm cannot explore alternatives to their paradigm, they are prisoners of their paradigm. When the residents of one paradigm are violently attacked by the residents of an alternative paradigm, both sets of residents are bound to defend their respective prisons. Such violent attacks are unlikely to help any residents to escape the limitations of their collusive dedication to the defense of the exclusivity of their paradigm. Love can lead those residents of a paradigm who have come to recognize its limitations, to help its other residents to Get to Yes regarding the integrative principles which are violated by the collusive taboos of the prison, and so help the prisoners to recognize the imprisoning nature of the residence which they are defending. Such integrative processes are essentially reflexive, profoundly affecting the lives of the residents of the exclusive prisons. Integrative processes are essentially reflexive and confront the exclusive paradigms of people who are dedicated to exclusive objectivity. Love leads to integrative processes which are not alienative because: integrative processes are not violent, are not manipulative, are not coercive, do not seek to be in control, and so seek to promote open and honest dialogue with gifts of security. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================