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This is http://www.essayz.com/a8903071.htm Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CHILD OWN DESIRES FEELINGS FEARS INTEGRITY ADDICT 890307 As a child Jack was not permitted to be authentically himself. He was told that he did not want what he knew he did want. Jack was told that he did not feel the pain which he was very conscious of. He was told that he was not afraid, when he most certainly was afraid. When Jack let other people know of his thoughts they became embarrassed and rejected him. When Jack spoke his mind his parents would not own him. Jack learned that he could not own his own desires, feelings, fears, thoughts, and personal expressions. Jack learned that he could not own up to who he was; i.e., he could not be honestly responsible (responsive) with any sense of security. Jack learned how to be on the defensive all of the time, because he was not accepted into conversations, dialogue and community authentically as he really was. Jack is trying to figure out how to be authentically a member of the community with integrity without being authentically himself. He cannot figure out how he can get other people to accept him at the same time that he can accept himself as he knows he is. Jack is torn by conflict and tears others up with conflict because there is a conflict between what he knows he is, and the deceptions which it apparently takes to get others to accept him into communal conversations and dialogue. Jack has been taught that he is not to be responsive in authentic ways and so he cannot behave responsively; he cannot be responsible in any authentic way. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================