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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %LOVE AS INTIMATE ACCEPTANCE WITHOUT PRETENSE 870514 When a society falls into a pattern of accepting its members only upon the fulfillment of ambiguously defined conditions, then disintegrative pretense becomes the basic coping pattern in games of mutual self deception. Members of the society learn to reject themselves as being unreal unless they are affirmed by others who are presumably more real than they are. Reality is externally defined by "objective" facts; not known through existentially personal reflexive experiences. Personal authentic experiences of a real self become irrelevant when reality is defined exclusively in terms of socially authenticated objective facts. Real selves cease to exist, being replaced by automatons that play games with each other in search of some understanding in terms of which to understand, predict and control each other. Automatons can not perceive reality wholisticly. Automatons can only analyze situations through a complex superposition of linear processes motivated by analytic assumptions based upon personal ignorance which is grounded in alienation and fear. Love entails intimate acceptance without pretense or fear; accepting people as whole creatures who are perfectly themselves without conforming to external criteria for personal acceptability. Love helps people to escape their con-games of mutual self deception. In Love people become free to name, recognize and talk about the ways in which they play their games of mutual self deception. In Love people learn to make contact with self and others, knowing each other as they really are---while being perfectly themselves in treasonous honesty against the sophisticated lies of collusive games of mutual self deception. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================