This-essay is a8012111.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %CONTRACTUAL PERSONAL RELATIONSHIPS 801211 Some people assume that all personal relationships are contractual in nature, that all meeting is in terms of the exchange of services. In such contractual personal relationships there are expectations which must be fulfilled, else the contract is violated and excommunication follows. The purpose of the relationship is to formulate and fulfill expectations. Thus the relationships tend to be conformal, conforming behavior to expectations which are specified in the contracts. At one level the contracts specify the kinds of behavior which are required or forbidden. At another level it is implicitly agreed that there shall be no surprises. Behavior which is not explicitly contracted for is in effect forbidden. Thus contracts may take on the nature of a collusion by which there is mutual regulation of behavior, thought, and feeling---to maintain conformity with the central falsehoods of the collusion. The personal contracts in effect specify not only overt behavior, but also specify such private aspects of being as desires, feelings, thoughts, hopes, etc. People who assume that all personal relationships are contractual in nature may find it impossible to believe that there exist personal real relationships which are not contractual in nature. Their assumption may take on aspects of a dogmatic belief which excludes from consideration any evidence to the contrary. Such a belief plays a central role in maintaining a collusion to the effect that it is impossible for people to relate to each other in other than contractual ways. Participants in such a belief are likely to feel threatened by suggestions that it is possible to participate in non-contractual personal relationships. They are likely to fear the uncertainty of the surprises implicit in non-contractual personal relationships. They are prone to regard such relationships as disorderly, and perhaps illegal. People who are accustomed to participation in contractual relationships may feel threatened by non- contractual persons who fail to give signals of what is expected; because in the absence of proposals of contractual terms, how is one to behave, to fulfill one's own side of the contract? (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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