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This-essay is a7807061.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %EXPRESSING APPRECIATION 780706 The expression of appreciation is the affirmation of a kind of dependency. A person whose ideal it is to be perfectly independent thus finds it hard to express appreciation---and perhaps finds it hard to be appreciative. To be appreciative is to affirm a need for community, friendship, affection, support, affirmation, etc. Injunctions to express appreciation---will not empower the thoroughly independent person to express appreciation. A mandate to fulfill the responsibility to be appreciative will not occasion the feeling of appreciation---even if the mandate is internalized on the part of a thoroughly independent person. Such an internalization will merely internalize the conflict between the logic of the mandate, and the logic of thoroughgoing personal independence. Only as the essence of the conflict is recognized and dealt with---can it be resolved. It is not enough to be appreciative in secret. Appreciation is not fully realized unless it is shared. Such sharing involves vulnerability, and is unlikely on the part of emotionally insecure people who seek security through techniques for achieving invulnerability. Such people may seek techniques for conforming to mandates of etiquette, but they are unlikely to be successful in acting in a way that convinces sensitive healthy people of their appreciation. They may be unappreciative while trying to conform to social requirements of appreciative behavior. Such a manipulative effort lacks integrity, and will not stand the tests of time. In the end it will prove to be counter-productive. Expressions of appreciation which are guided by formulas are not likely to be authentic---and so lack the integrity which is typical of whole people. For this reason technocrats who are guided by routines---will find it all but impossible to effectively use routines to meaningfully guide expressions of appreciation according to some systematic program. No legalistic requirement that a person successfully conform to a pattern of expressing appreciation---will help occasion authentic expressions of appreciation. Love may elicit, where law cannot succeed. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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Find the following links by clicking on CENTER when CENTER near the top or bottom of a web page of essayz.com 1. Go to HOME PAGE of essayz.com 2. Find brief-essays via keywords 3. Find brief-essay about ADDICTION 4. Search-Helps related to ABOVE-LINK 5. GoTo Action & Information Center 6. Find Regular-Essays via Year/Month 7. Find Regular-Essays via Word-Starts 8. Find Regular-Essay about LOVE

This-essay is a7807061.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One