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This-essay is a7709241.htm which is available at the web-site See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %SEXUAL CONFIDENCE 770924 Sexual confidence and sexual fulfillment mirror each other, each occasioning and/or inhibiting the other in positive and/or negative manners. When we are confident of our sexuality and desires---we relate to each other in sexually fulfilling ways which enhance our confidence. When we are uncertain of our sexuality and desires---we dis-associate with each other in sexually frustrating ways which cast our sexuality and desires into further doubt. Our confidence and uncertainty are occasioned by affirmations and questioning of our sexuality and desires. The foundations for our sexual lives are given to us by our parents as role models---who either affirm or deny our sexuality and sexual desires, by how they relate sexually to each other and to us. Messages given to us by our parents in our childhood are nearly permanent and only weakly subject to reconsideration and reinterpretation in ways which are contrary to how we internalized them as children. The framework for our sexual lives is built in adolescence as we experiment to discover for ourselves the nature of sexual relationships for ourselves as unique persons. Our teachers, professors, associates, subculture, friends, and lovers in numerous ways affirm-- accept and/or deny--reject our sexuality and desires by the kinds of relationships which are encouraged and/or discouraged. The messages we receive may be clear affirmations--acceptances, clear denials--rejections, ambiguous (affirmations--acceptances)/(denials-- rejections), or contradictory in nature. Our sexual possibilities are thereby framed for us. Our sexual lives put flesh upon the framework built upon the foundation laid in our childhood. The sexual fulfillment we realize depends upon the integrity of our personal relationships and our being. We cease to live sexually if we can not be honest: intellectually, rationally, affectionally, emotionally, erotically, politically, religiously, and spiritually. Dishonesty of any kind undermines integrity and so healthy sexuality. Legalistic prescriptions which require/forbid specific kinds of mutual sexual relationships---promote dishonesty within and between us, undermines integrity; generates fragmentation, frustration, anger, and violence. Such behavior undermines our confidence in the God-given goodness of sexuality---and the vicious cycles are thereby augmented. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================
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This-essay is a7709241.htm which is available at the web-site These 5 lines echo top lines. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One