This-essay is a7611163.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %SECURITY-1 761116 Security is the absence of fear of attack. Yet it is more. It is more than a lack of fear. Security comes with a confidence of knowing others' love. The knowing is not the intellectual kind of knowing, but the intimate kind which transcends words. Security is occasioned by feeling comfortable with others' unconditional willingness to be in communication---without ulterior motives. Security is experienced in non-manipulative relationships. In such relationships there is no reason to fear that others will violate you---with either good or evil intentions. In such relationships vulnerability is mutual; participants are equally subject to the transformations of the relationship. There need be no fear of such transformations, for they move participants towards the genuine fulfillment of their potentials. The transformations are not systematically goal-oriented according to any person's or society's expectations. The transformations flow from the relationship, which flows from and transcends the participants in the relationship. Therein the participants find their security. People who engage in manipulative ways of dealing with each other do not find security. Even when they devise systems which motivate each other to refrain from attack, they do not thereby find security. They must constantly fear the changes in the systems which may make attack more likely. Manipulative ways of gaining security lead to relationships of dominance/submission or to unstable relationships of balanced tension. The temporary stability of the dominance/submission leads to meaningless security for the dominant party, and to unjust stability for the submissive party. Eventually the meaninglessness and injustice become intolerable, and the futile stability is sacrificed for meaningful conflict. Unstable relationships of balanced power require increasing expenditures of emotional energy and resources- --which create increasing instability. In either case real security is not enjoyed until vulnerability can be shared in non-manipulative, non-technical ways. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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