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%RARE GRACIOUS EVOLUTION HUMAN RELATIONS COERCION 050111 %FACILITATED PROMOTE VIOLENCE UNILATERAL INITIATIVE 050111 %HEALTHY DEVELOPMENT UNDERMINE SUBVERT DIALOGUE SIN 050111 %LEARNING MUTUAL UNDERSTANDING INTEGRATIONS FRIENDS 050111 %COOPERATION COLABORATION COHERENCE HEALING LOVERS 050111 %OBJECTIVE SUBJECTIVE REFLEXIVE INTIMACIES TRUE GOD 050111 It is very rare that the gracious evolution of human relationships is truly facilitate through coercion, violence and other forms of unilateral action. Generally --- coercion, violence and other forms of unilateral action undermine: listening, dialogue, learning, mutual- understanding, balance, cooperation, collaboration, coherence, integrations, integrities, and other healthy- developments. There are times and occasions in objective- relationships between people and inanimate-objects when coercion, violence and other forms of unilateral action lead to satisfactory outcomes for the human initiators of such developments --- where objects are never known to demonstrate wills-of-their-own, to take-initiatives-of- their-own, or to care about outcomes. In reflexive-relationships which involve creatures that are known to demonstrate wills-of-their-own, to take- initiatives-of-their-own, and to care about the outcomes of the developing relationships --- it is doubtful that coercion, violence or other forms of unilateral action have been demonstrated to be helpful to all who are involved in balanced ways. Only domineering-fools approach such situations with confidence that they can be helpfully IN-CHARGE of the evolution of REFLEXIVE- RELATIONSHIPS. What can True-Lovers do to help such domineering- fools to better understand the possibilities and impossibilities that are present in REFLEXIVE- RELATIONSHIPS? Consider the following suggestions: 1. It does no good to imitate the attitudes, assumptions, beliefs, and behavioral-patterns of domineering-fools. 2. It does no good to pretend that True-Lovers can effectively TAKE-CHARGE, or helpfully BE-IN-CONTROL. 3. It does no good to be dishonest about possibilities and impossibilities, facts, and the reliable descriptive-laws-of-cosmic-processes. 4. It does no good to unilaterally make demands, or to issue commandments, prescriptions, proscriptions, edicts, scripts, or make assignments as regards what roles others must play. 5. It does no good to try to UNILATERALLY-CONTROL the evolution of: inter-personal-relationships, beliefs, attitudes, perspectives, feelings, emotions, desires, hopes, expectations, etc. It is helpful to help each new generation of young people to understand: 1. The contrast between I-Thou and I-It relationships, as described by Martin Buber. 2. What is possible, and what is not possible, in intimate personal relationships. 3. The nature of domineering-fools who rush in where angels fear to tread. 4. The reliable-descriptions of how RELFEXIVE- RELATIONSHIPS are likely to evolve in the presence of UNILATERAL: coercion, violence, dishonesty, arrogance, self-righteousness, pretentiousness, bias, prejudice, intentional-ignorance, etc. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================