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%CONTENTIOUS HAPPY CHEERFUL GLAD PLEASED THANK JOY 040520 %DELIGHTED FULFILLED GRATIFIED SATISFIED GRACE GOD 040520 %HOLD POSSESSION POSSESSIVE EXTERNAL SOURCE PLEASE 040520 %CONFORMITY CONTROL DOMINATE LORD KING QUEEN FORMS 040520 %IDEALISM PERFECTION SEXUAL BOND RELATIONSHIP GOODS 040520 %HEAVEN HELL PURGATORY HOLY SACRED MAGICAL SOLUTION 040520 People who are not content (happy, cheerful, glad, pleased, delighted, fulfilled, gratified, OR satisfied) with what they have ----- often want TO-HOLD-ON-TO-MORE of what they have, or want MORE-OF what the believe that other people have, or MORE OF SOME OTHER POSSESSION WHICH THEY VIEW AS A LIKELY EXTERNAL SOURCE OF: happiness, cheer, gladness, pleasure, delight, fulfillment, gratification or satisfaction --- if they could only HOLD- ON-TO-IT (French tenure --- to hold). Such people are not meaningfully held by any truly significant intimate relationships --- and seek compensatory: security, meaning, and invulnerability by holding-on-to-things which can be unilaterally possessed/held-on-to. Possessive people, domineering-people, addictive- people, and collusive-people and their like --- are ill- at-ease, dis-eased, in regards to: friendships, intimate- relationships and sexual relationships --- which entail reflexive/personal: holding, touching, stimulation, mutuality, cooperation, collaboration, balance, health, shalom, etc. They seek to solve their "problems" (which are really inter-personal-dilemmas) through unilateral efforts, actions, commandments, etc. which entail NO- MEANINGFUL: reflexive/personal: holding, touching, stimulation, mutuality, cooperation, collaboration, balance, health, shalom, etc. --- WHICH ENTAIL MEANINGFUL- VULNERABILITY. What they need/want entails MEANINGFUL- VULNERABILITY. They feel/think that what they want can be achieved through TOTAL-INVULNERABILITY and TECHNOCRATIC- MEANS for unilaterally "solving" what they believe to be purely technical-problems. They cannot find contentment through "holding-on-to" their unilateral feelings and/or thinking patterns. They do not recognize, understand or know the essential-foundations-for-personal-and-communal integrity. They need to seek to recognize, understand, and acknowledge the essential-foundations-for-personal-and- communal-integrities; e.g.: civility, hospitality, grace, cooperation, love, trust, collaboration, generosity, thankfulness, appreciation, respect, reverence, humility, peacemaking, forgiveness, acceptance, giving, sharing, honesty, balance, mutuality, etc. They cannot do what they need to do --- --- --- --- so long as they compulsively HOLD-ON-TO their UNILATERAL assumptions, feelings and/or thinking patterns as sure means to the achievement of INVULNERABILITY as the one and only ABSOLUTELY ESSENTIAL risk-management-tool. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================