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%UNREALISTIC DISHONEST COMMITTMENT PERMANENT PAIR 040321 %UNCHANGING PARTICIPATE MEANINGFUL EVIL RELATIONS 040321 %COLLUSIVE GAME MUTUAL SELF DECEPTION DISHONESTY GO 040321 %LETTING EACH SELF OTHER BEING AUTHENTIC INTEGRITY 040321 It is unrealistic and often dishonest for people to presume to commit themselves to creating a permanent and unchanging relationship. To participate in a meaningful relationship is to interact with each other and with significant other persons --- in ways which are bound to lead to personal, relational and communal changes. Such changes cannot all be anticipated with any degree of reliability. To pretend otherwise in a coherent/systematic way is to participate in a collusive game of mutual self-deception --- a dishonest game which will lead to the disintegration of the relationship, the participants and the community in the relationship. People CAN meaningfully commit to participate in a dynamic relationship which is characterized by: 1. Openness, 2. Honesty, 3. Mutuality, 4. Balance, 5. Authenticity, 6. Responsiveness, 7. Civility, 8. Hospitality, 9. Gentleness, 10. Kindness, 11. Sensitivity, 12. Empathy, 13. Sympathy, 14. Generosity, 15. Humility, 16. Reverence, 17. Etc. Such a commitment cannot be fulfilled to perfection, but it can be fulfilled in meaningful and mutually satisfying ways --- perhaps even until an eventual death which cannot be avoided, but can be dealt with in mutually meaningful ways. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================