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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %DISINTEGRATIVE UNHEALTHY DEMANDS PREVENT SHALOM 030522 %PEACE RELAX LOVE PLEASURE ACCEPTANCE MEANING DEVIL 030522 %CRITICISM DOMINATION SYSTEM GODS JUDGE ACCUSER WIN 030522 %POWER CONCENTRATION IMPOSSIBLE ENJOY DESIDERATA 030522 %DIE DEATH DENIAL CONSEQUENCES TURNING AWAY FOLLOW 030522 %CONTENTIOUS WAR DEFENSIVE DESTRUCTIVE GOOD HATED 030522 There are many demands that we-often-make that in- effect say-no-to; i.e., prevent: 1. Shalom, 2. Peace, 3. Health, 4. Relaxation, 5. Integration, 6. Integrity, 7. Love, 8. Pleasure, 9. Acceptance, and 10. Meaning. We in-effect say-no-to all-of-the-above-desiderata whenever we demand that we be: 1. In-Control, 2. Always-Invulnerable, 3. The-Most-Honored-One, 4. Beyond-Criticism, 5. The-Most-Dominant-One, 6. God's Spokesperson, 7. God's Judge, 8. God's Accuser, 9. The-Most-Power-Full-One, 10. Recognized as Being-Perfect. By-making-the-above-demands we make-it-impossible- for-us to enjoy-the-above-listed-desiderata. Those are the-tragic-effects of our-demands. When we demand-that-the-effects-of-our-demands-stop --- before we-stop-making-the-demands --- we-commit- suicide; i.e., we die. We die when we demand that we-ourself be able to enjoy with-integrity what we-together cannot-enjoy- together-with-integrity. We cannot enjoy the desiderata with integrity --- if we refuse to be integrated with others who are "different"; i.e., if we refuse to be together-with-integrity. It is important to recognize that when we make demands which in-effect say no-to: 1. Shalom, 2. Peace, 3. Health, 4. Relaxation, 5. Integration, 6. Integrity, 7. Love, 8. Pleasure, 9. Acceptance, and 10. Meaning. The consequent absence of the above --- leads to us turn to the following as disintegrative substitutes for the above realities which are missing: 1. Contentiousness, 2. Preparing-for-war, 3. Being-domineering, 4. Always-being-defensive, 5. Being willing to be destructive, 6. Appearing to be "good", 7. Excommunicating evil people, 8. Punishing evil people, 9. Rejecting evil people, 10. Cynicism and denigrations. The absence of the-essential-foundations for personal and communal integrity, health, openness, honesty, intimacy and the freedom to be safely vulnerable --- has devastating consequences --- in the absence of true lovers who have the power to promote healing. We need to take note of what essential foundations are absent --- before we prematurely start building right upon the sands which are near the turbulent ocean water in the days before a hurricane storm hits with full force. There are many things which it is safe to tolerate. However, it is not safe to tolerate demands by domineering people that they not be criticized for neglecting to give an appropriate amount of attention to some essential foundation for both person and communal integrity --- because they are compulsively focused upon some one or very few desiderata --- to the exclusion of giving adequate attention to others. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================