This-essay is a9909171.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %PRESBYNET UNITY #1113 ESSENTIAL THINGS LACK FAIL+990917 %PERSONAL COMMUNAL INTEGRITY LOVERS CONTROLLERS+990917 %DOMINATION SYSTEM TECHNOCRATS FREE EXCHANGE SINS+990917 %GIFTS FREEDOM SAFELY VULNERABLE SECURITY DEFENSE 990917 What is essential to personal and communal integrity? Here "essential" does NOT mean most important; but rather her "essential" points to some "things" without which we as individuals and as communities cannot enjoy personal and communal integrity. ***** It is essential that each community have within it a significant number of leaders and followers who understand the differences between the ways in which lovers and controllers seek to enjoy security. Communities cannot readily enjoy both personal and communal integrity in the absence of some understanding of the differences between the ways in which lovers and controllers seek to enjoy security. The differences are not readily recognized because the differences often stand in the way of such recognition. Lovers and controllers find it exceedingly difficult to understand each other's ways of seeking to enjoy security --- because: 1. Lovers know from experience that true security is enjoyed in the free exchange of gracious gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable. In fellowship they freely exchange gracious gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable within the fellowship of a sanctuary of an integrative community of people of integrity. Lovers focus upon doing all that they can do to facilitate and encourage open and honest dialogue within all of their relationships. They are free to learn from their own mistakes and the mistakes of others. 2. Controllers believe that their security will be enjoyed when they achieve personal invulnerability ---and so in alienation they seek to control all that is essential to their own achievement of invulnerability. Controllers believe that their own security depends upon their ability to control every detail of their communications --- intentional and unintentional. For this reason they participate in collusive games of mutual self deception which block their understanding of how lovers manage to enjoy security. When trapped within their collusions controllers are not free to learn from their own mistakes --- or from the mistakes of others. Lovers and controllers live in different ways; according to quite different paradigms. Their different ways do not make sense to each other. That which is essential in the lives of lovers, makes no sense to controllers --- because open and honest communications would undermine the collusions of controllers --- which are seen as essential to the achievement of invulnerability. The collusions which are seen by controllers as essential to the achievement of their own personal invulnerability --- make no sense to lovers who recognize the free exchange of gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable --- as essential to true security within integrative communities. Many lovers can understand the collusive traps which blind controllers. Few controllers understand the maddenly mysterious ways in which lovers can enjoy security --- while they are so vulnerable and indefensible. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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