This-essay is a9906281.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %CONTROLLERS LEGITIMATE STANDING CONCERN COMPLAINT+990628 %PREOCCUPATION FEARS ANXIETY PLAINTIFF GRIEVANCE 990628 There are often tensions between people who are preoccupied with issues of control --- and people who seek to liberate others to live healthy lives in relationships which are guided by true love; i.e., love which gives the freedom to be safely vulnerable in open and honest ways. Controllers are uneasy when there seem to be inadequate controls, rules, commandments, discipline, regulations, prescriptions, proscriptions; i.e., when people are excessively free to do what they want to do together. Controllers feel that lives should be well regulated. Controllers often think that they have "standing" to complain about what undisciplined people doing "without permission". Controllers are uneasy about creative behaviors which do not follow specified procedures and traditions. They feel that they have a legitimate right to complain about other people's undisciplined thoughts, desires and behaviors; and often volunteer to serve as controllers and disciplinarians. True lovers on the other hand see controllers as unnecessarily preoccupied with controls --- and prone to engender personal and communal disintegration by trying to be in control of much that needs not be controlled, and often cannot be controlled. True lovers do not see controls as the appropriate response to most imprudent thoughts, desires and behaviors; although in extreme situations it may be necessary to impose controls on some people who truly are threats to personal and communal integrity. Imprudent controllers are in many instances a greater threat to personal and communal integrity --- than are the people whom they seek to control. Imprudent controllers are often less concerned with the likely outcomes of uncontrolled thoughts, desires and behaviors --- than with the appearances of being properly controlled. They fear the appearance of thoughts, desires and behaviors --- which would embarrass them, challenge provincial patterns, expose collusive games of mutual self deception; or expose ignorance, prejudice or confusion. Often it is not a simple thing to discern which people are imprudent controllers --- and which people are imprudent lovers; and discern how conflicts between them ought to be resolved. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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