This-essay is a9906041.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %MANAGEMENT CONTROL INTIMATE COMMUNICATIONS HONEST+990604 %DIALOGUE BEING TRUE SELF OTHER INTEGRITY COMMUNAL+990604 %PERSONAL HEALTH WELLNESS DISEASE SICKNESS ILLNESS+990604 %CONFLICT COERCION CONTENTIOUS ISSUES PRIVACY SEX 990604 People who are preoccupied with issues of control face a dilemma when they consider issues pertaining to responsible private behavior, friendships, intimacy, and sexuality. They find it embarrassing/impractical to define any explicit and unambiguous boundaries between clearly public behavior and clearly privileged private behavior. They similarly find it impractical/embarrassing to define any explicit and unambiguous boundaries between only dreaming, thinking about, envisioning, describing, and desiring various levels of intimacy --- and the corresponding fulfillments thereof with one or more other persons. Is honesty with one or more other persons about dreaming, thinking, envisioning and desiring intimacy to be forbidden? Under what circumstances? How can one forbid that which is not clearly described? How are controllers to avoid embarrassment and/or impracticality in describing what is forbidden? They are likely to discover that it is contrary to the implicit rules of their collusions to describe what is supposed to be recognized as being forbidden. Can people who are preoccupied with issues of control --- support and defend peoples' constitutional communication rights without reservation? Usually they are silent about people's constitution communication rights; because under the terms of the implicit rules of their collusions --- it is taboo to encourage people to be true to themselves and each other in open and honest personal relationships --- for such openness and honesty is bound to undermine the "integrity" of their collusions. Their ultimate concern is to play their collusive games with the appearance of personal and communal integrity. Their idolatry is a very demanding form of idolatry --- which requires constant vigilance, loyalty and dedication to the unarticulated rules of the game. People who are preoccupied with issues of control cannot with integrity deal with how to help people to become participants in healthy/integrative relationships which are friendly, intimate, and/or sexual --- because such relationships are not engendered, governed, or controlled by external expectations; or by the internalization of external expectations. Because of their preoccupations controllers are not qualified to be helpful --- and when they intrude into the private aspects of people's lives and relationships --- their intrusion is more likely to engender resentment, anger, and rebellion; than appreciation, discipline, or healthy/integrative relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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