This-essay is a9905011.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %FEARFUL ANXIOUS INTIMACY LOVE DIALOGUE SEXUALITY+990501 %DISEASED PEACE SHALOM ILLNESS RELAXATION HEALTHY 990501 It is difficult to truly promote both personal and communal integrity --- if we do not understand many people's fears of: love, intimacy, honesty, dialogue and sexual relationships; and do not understand how their fears developed and are sustained. It is difficult for us to transcend and overcome our fears of love, intimacy, honesty, dialogue and sexual relationships --- without understanding how our fears developed and are sustained; and without becoming familiar with people in whom such fears did not develop and who see no need for our kinds of fears and anxiety. People who have been threatened, abused, and violated by those people nearest and dearest to them --- naturally developed fears of love, intimacy, honesty, dialogue and sexual relationships. The development of their fears and defense mechanisms/technologies seems natural, normal and proper to such people. That is how they make sense of their lives and the challenges which their lives have brought to them. Fears, anxieties, rules, laws, controls, prohibitions, prescriptions and their like make sense to such people --- and are regarded as proper means to the promotion of a healthy community; even though they often occasion resentment, anger and alienation. People who have become familiar with diverse people, intimate with others, in love with others, and have become aware of healthy sexual relationships among those who are nearest and dearest to them --- naturally have grown up with few fears of love, intimacy, honesty, dialogue and sexual relationships. Fears, anxieties, rules, laws, controls, prohibitions, prescriptions and other such realities are seen by them as regrettable responses to diseased relationships which need to be transcended in non- alienative ways. We need to seek to understand each other within healthy relationships wherein people exchange free gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable; and enjoy such freedom as true security. If we conceive of and try to achieve security as freedom from vulnerability --- we are bound to alienate ourselves from those who might otherwise be nearest and dearest to us in the exchange of free gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable in open, honest, intimate and healthy sexual relationships. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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