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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %ULTIMATE TENSION LOVE LETTING-GO CONTROL SELF SIN+981017 %SPONTANEOUS PLANNED INFORMALITY AUTHENTIC OTHERS+981017 %CONFLICT RESOLUTION PEACEMAKING MANAGEMENT SUCCESS+981017 %BALANCED CONTENTION ULTIMATE CONCERN PLEASURE JOYS+981017 %OPEN HONEST DIALOGUE SHARE TOGETHER COOPERATION WE+981017 %YIN YANG COMPLEMENTARY IDEALS VALUE PRINCIPLES SEX 981017 In an alternating way the words in the title point toward the poles of the ultimate tension in being true to self and others while seeking to enjoy and achieve union, communion, dialogue, and authentic cooperation in being truly human. 1. Can we be our best selves through absolute dedication to good laws and regulations; or through letting go in love in spontaneous ways which we cannot control? 2. Are we best when we seek to transcend unregulated foolishness and selfishness; or when we learn to enjoy each other just as we are without any demand to be respected? 3. Can we make the best of ourselves through rigid self discipline; or through being open and honest in mutually responsive sharing of who we are when we are beyond being concerned with rigid disciplines and regulations? 4. Are we most admirable and inspiring when we are trying the hardest to be admirable and inspiring; or when we somehow free each other from concerns about being admirable and inspiring to our audiences? 5. Are there technologies by which we can assure our superiority and salvation; or must we surrender our hopes for being able to manage such technologies --- to be free to enjoy ourselves with each other in authentic meetings? 6. Are we more truly humane when we have thoroughly internalized within ourselves our fears of each others' efforts to be in control of self and others; or when we have discovered and learned to trust each other in giving and receiving gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable with each other --- without concerns about any kinds of controls? 7. Are we most true to self and other in personal and communal integrity when we regulate self and other according to some systematic plan, pattern and/or formula; or when we transcend all regulations of self and other in love which relaxes tensions and contentions? 8. Can we within ourselves transcend these tensions by ourselves, and then learn to share our personal enjoyment of such transcendence; or must we communally transcend these tensions, and then prescribe and proscribe to assure that all people transcend them together in the same way? 9. Can we transcend asking either/or dichotomous questions one at a time in sequences: or must we learn to hold many questions in our hearts all-at-once --- in integrative ways which lead to the priorities of love? 10. Are there any experts who know so much more than we do --- that they should properly have the power to tell us how and what to believe, expect, perceive, desire, hope-for, expect, decide, do, reflect-upon, respect, honor, support, and commemorate? 11. Some "experts" are sure that nobody can be safe and secure unless all people's desires, fantasies and possibilities are properly regulated and controlled; yet other authentic people know from experience that all people can be safe and secure together in the knowledge that they all recognize and acknowledge that many of their desires, fantasies and possibilities cannot be fulfilled within their limited times; with limited human energies, resources, insights, knowledge, skills, and good will. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================