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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %CONDITIONAL LOVE VULNERABILITY SECURITY DEFENSE 980926 To the extent that love is conditional love, to that extent the person "loved" will feel the need to be on the defensive; fearing that any vulnerability will be taken advantage of. Thus conditional love engenders alienation to the extent that it is conditional. This is not to say that unconditional love calls for occasions of dishonesty, letting oneself be "run over", letting oneself be "taken advantage of", etc. Unconditional love is not: unbalanced, lacking in mutuality, unconditionally sacrificial; collusive, dishonest, codependent, etc. Such is not the nature of true love. The unconditionality of unconditional love --- has to do with keeping channels of communication as open as possible; has to do with being true to self and other in open and honest dialogue made possible through the exchange of gifts of the freedom to be safely vulnerable within intimate personal relationships. CONDITIONAL love is not committed to keeping channels of communication as open as possible --- and so engenders alienation with all of its bitter fruits. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================