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This is Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay Click HERE on this line to find essays via Your-Key-Words. {Most frequent wordstarts of each essay will be put here.} ========================================================== %HEALTHY SEXUAL RELATIONSHIPS CONTROL ADDICT SIN+980609 %CODEPEND SAFELY INVULNERABLE DEFENSIVE EVIL GOOD+980609 %DICHOTOMY SECRET PRIVATE HIDDEN PUBLIC KNOWLEDGE 980609 Within a community in which many people are preoccupied with issues of control, addiction and codependence --- it is difficult for people to participate in healthy sexual relationships because: 1. Healthy sexual relationships involve enjoying the freedom to be safely vulnerable --- which is difficult to do within a community preoccupied with perfection, invulnerability, and defenses. 2. Healthy sexual relationships involve rainbows of ways of being involved in human intimacy which entail continuous variations in subtle differences --- which is difficult to enjoy in the presence of people who are preoccupied with reducing complex situations to questions which can be answered YES or NO with absolute certainty --- and so preoccupied with drawing sharp/absolute boundaries between good and evil. 3. Healthy sexual relationships are not entirely secret, private and/or hidden --- but entail public acknowledgements of how meaningful the relationships are to those involved in them. It is difficult to enjoy healthy sexual relationships in the presence of contentious people who are ready to pass judgment and issue condemnations at the slightest provocation. 4. Healthy sexual relationships are not about getting ahead, gaining advantages and/or being dominant --- issues which are hard to avoid within contexts where competition, control, discipline and criticism are pervasive. 5. Healthy sexual relationships do not flow from fearful efforts to avoid friendships, intimacy, risks, experiences, knowledge, and/or failures. These are some things to keep in mind when concerned about people who seem to be involved in unhealthy sexual relationships --- and asking what can be done to help more people become involved in healthy sexual relationships. Avoidance techniques rarely lead people into healthy sexual relationships. Beware of people who promote avoidance techniques in regards to intimacy. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================