This-essay is a9707071.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %DISINTEGRATIVE ALTERNATIVES ACCURATE DESCRIPTION+970707 %CONTROL RESPONSIBLE CONTEXT SITUATION DIFFERENT 970707 We can use descriptions of integrative and disintegrative alternatives to help engender personal and communal integrity --- and to avoid personal and communal disintegration. We should ask if offered descriptions are: (1) Accurate from various different individuals' perspectives in the light of their different experiences. (2) Helpful to different individuals within their different contexts and different particular situations. Some people will object to people offering accurate descriptions which expose pretentious behaviors. They are probably playing collusive games of mutual self-deception and need to be exposed to the light of truth. We can control some, but not all, of our responses to our contexts and situations. We can use descriptions of our various levels of control of our various responses to our various contexts and situations --- to help promote integration or disintegration. Because we are different, our patterns of responses and abilities to control our responses are different. We can be helpful by creating secure contexts for open and honest dialogue --- and prudently using such secure contexts for dialogue to share openly and accurately our experiences with regard to being (or not being) in control of our responses in various contexts and situations. Only when there is open and honest dialogue can we all learn as much as possible from our experiences which flow from what turned out to be mistakes made in ignorance, or made willfully in rebellion against controls. (1) We have little control over our physiological reactions to: our bodies being hit in certain ways and places, to changes in the brightness of light, to loud sounds, to zero exercise when chained down; or to taking in too little air, water, or food when we are deprived. (2) We have some control over our thought processes in response to what our culture has taught us are sexually stimulating stimuli. (3) We have some control over our daytime sexual visions, fantasies, dreams and desires. (4) We have less control over our sexual visions, fantasies, dreams and desires in the middle of a deep sleep. (5) We have more control over our overt sexual behaviors and communications. It can be helpful for us to recognize, name and describe situations in which manipulative people's demands that "undisciplined" people conform, are often efforts by the manipulators to be in control of the "undisciplined" people. In such situations we need to recognize, name and describe the extent to which various patterns of behavior by coercive people are integrative and/or disintegrative. Often the it is not as clear-cut as some people claim that it is. "Either/or" thinking is often disintegrative. Dichotomous demands are rarely integrative. Formula-responses are often not responsible --- because they cannot be formulated wisely in advance of un-imagined contexts/situations. People who are preoccupied with issues of control are often behaving in the manner of addicts and their codependent supporters --- playing collusive games of mutual self-deception. Such games need to be recognized, named and described as disintegrative of persons and communities --- regardless of their pretentions as being supportive of law & order, discipline, morality, ethical behavior, etc. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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