This-essay is a9705192.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %NAT BEAM LUMBER EYES SETTING PRIORITIES RELATIVE+970519 %FINDING COMMON GROUND TRUST CONFLICT RESOLUTION+970519 %IMPORTANT DIFFERENCES PERSPECTIVES ASSUMPTIONS SIN+970519 %BALANCE PERSPECTIVE INTEGRATE HEALTHY GROW CHANGE 970519 To find common ground with people we do not fully trust--- we need to focus upon setting priorities, rather than on finding gnats in each other's eyes. If we are preoccupied with imperfections in other people (to make ourselves look good in our own eyes) we are likely to lose perspective in regards to the relative importances of whatever we have become most concerned about --- in comparison to whatever we have come to ignore and neglect. We need other people's insights to help us to restore balance --- when we become unbalanced and fanatical. There may in fact be a beam in each of our own eyes; of lumber, not of light! To find common ground we need to devise ways to cooperate with people who are different --- to sort out positive affirmations and find which affirmations the largest fraction of cooperative people regard as most important. This cannot be done using only the standard parliamentary procedures --- for they do not facilitate setting priorities. Standard parliamentary-rules-of-order facilitate orderly dichotomous thinking and contentious debates; but they do not facilitate sorting out high priority suggestions from a long list of different suggestions which differ in relative importance. To find common ground, a group of people need to be able to simultaneously: (1) Focus upon the relative importances among positive suggestions, AND (2) Determine what percentage of all participants are supportive of various positive suggestions. Rarely do deliberative assemblies seek to do both things simultaneously. Usually contentious members of assemblies seek to discredit each other's suggestions by seeking to focus attention on imperfections (however small they may be) in each others' suggestions. At the same time contentious members of assemblies seek to heap praise upon the merits (however small they may be) in their own suggestions --- considered in isolation from others which are in competition for priority attention. Members of assemblies may facilitate finding common ground by shifting attention away from finding imperfections in each others' suggestions --- to discussing and voting upon the RELATIVE IMPORTANCE of numerous suggestions regarding what few concerns should be granted priority status; and which many concerns should be relegated to low priority status. Balance in these matters is usually achieved only if balance is sought. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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