This-essay is a9705141.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %CHASTITY FIDELITY MARRIAGE FRIENDSHIP SEXUALITY+970514 %LEGALIST LAW JUDGMENTAL DICHOTOMY SIN DEVIL GOD+970514 %CONTROL GODS LOVE INTIMACY POSSIBILITY ALTERNATIVE+970514 %ETERNAL BOND FIXED LOGICAL SYSTEM MORALITY CODES 970514 People who greatly respect moral codes as proper means for regulating intimate relationships are often preoccupied with dichotomies; i.e., are prone to ask either/or questions and try to answer such questions in ways which are certain, unambiguous and free of paradoxes. Consider their dilemma when they are confronted with the need to define terms like "fidelity", "chastity," and "faithful" in regards to varied actual intimate relationships. Such people usually seek to define those terms in conjunction with the conviction that sexual intimacy should occur exclusively within one kind of marriage relationship for every person, regardless of their differences. One form fits all. Pre-marital sexuality, extra-marital sexuality, and post-marital sexuality are not regarded as permitted, respectable, or motivated by God. Given the above framework for thinking about human sexuality, the question may come up: "Where is the sharp line to be drawn between sexuality which is to be regarded as permitted, respectable, or motivated by God --- and other human sexuality which is not." While that question may arise, usually it is ignored when it does arise --- so that it does not get discussed in any open and honest discussion about human sexuality. The tacit question is tacitly answered in ways which are: unclear, ambiguous, ambivalent, and so are usually misleading --- making many opportunities for alienative judgements and condemnations. At what point in the development of a close friendship between two people who honestly respect each other --- should we say that the "boundary" is crossed between what is permitted, respectable, and motivated by God ---and what is not. Is it when outside of a life-long union: 1. A child is born? 2. An abortion occurs? 3. Conception occurs? 4. Mutually encouraged orgasms occur? 5. Mutual physical sexual stimulation occurs? 6. Mutually encouraged sexual pleasure develops? 7. Mutually acknowledged sexual pleasure occurs? 8. Sexual desires are mutually acknowledged? 9. Sexual possibilities are mutually avoided? 10. Sexual possibilities are mutually acknowledged? 11. Sexual possibilities are consciously avoided by self? 12. Sexual desires are acknowledged within self? 13. Sexual possibilities are acknowledged within self? 14. An open and honest intimate friendship develops? 15. An open and honest intimate friendship is desired? 16. An open and honest intimate friendship is possible? The complexity of the task of drawing clear lines may be increased if one is willing to consider differences between participants in regards to: POWER AGE WEALTH EDUCATION SEX DESIRES HEALTH ORIENTATION ANATOMY GENDER ADDRESSES RELIGION CULTURE RELIGION REPUTATION SELF-ESTEEM People who greatly respect moral codes as proper means for regulating intimate relationships --- are people who are often unwilling to get involved in all the details of describing openly and honestly what may make an important difference. Honesty is likely to violate their taboos. How are proper lines to be drawn openly and honestly without violating the tacit rules of one collusion or another collusion? In the absence of properly drawn lines, how can improper sexual desires and behaviors to be controlled? People who are preoccupied with issues of control are likely to believe that whatever cannot be controlled is evil --- and should be fought with all available means without regard to the cost entailed. They have difficulty dealing with God's Love and God's gift of sexuality which they cannot control. If any sexual pleasure is openly and honestly acknowledged as good --- because it is a gift from God who is Love --- then it may become difficult to contain and control sexual pleasures according to any eternally fixed logical system which bestows power to control sexuality upon the keepers of the eternal fixed logical system to which they are eternally bonded as its servants in bondage. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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