This-essay is a9702011.htm which is available at the web-site www.essayz.com. See more notes at the bottom. Previous-Essay <== This-Essay ==> Following-Essay By-Months By-Years By-Words Webs of Like-&-Un-Like ESSAYS <==> Like-&-UN-Like This-One ========================================================== %BEING SELF OPEN HONEST INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS GIVE+970201 %MEANING SATISFACTION PLEASURE JOY SEXUAL INTEGRITY+970201 %REFLEXIVE REVELATIONS KNOWLEDGE GOOD EVIL WAYS+970201 %DECEPTIVE MISLEADING APPEARANCES RESPECTABLE WORK 970201 Only to the extent that we are free from threats of, and fears of, coercion and violence --- are we able to respond reflexively with integrity. Only then can we engage in open and honest, intimate relationships which give meaning, satisfaction, pleasure and joy to the lives of participants. Threats of, and fears of, coercion and violence lead us towards being secretive, deceptive and dishonest. In their presence we do not feel free to be true to ourselves or each other. We do not feel free to demonstrate our personal integrity within contexts of communal integrity. Reflexive responses are revealing of one's self---as well as reflecting back upon one's self. How we reflect upon ourselves reveals much about ourselves. To avoid revealing too much about ourselves, we must try not to let others know how we reflect back ourselves. The most sure way not to let others truly know about ourselves --- is not to reflect upon ourselves; not to engage in reflexive behaviors. Is that truly possible? Virtually all behavior is in one sense or another reflexive; reflecting back upon one's self by showing what one values, and what one does not value. What we avoid doing tells others about ourselves---just as what we often choose to do tells others about ourselves. All of our choices are revealing of self to others who take notice of us; our manner of approach to them and to others, and how we deal with dilemmas and paradoxes. If we hide ourselves---that is revealing. If we are open, honest and very responsive---that is revealing. If we avoid eye contact---that is revealing. If we are always "on guard" and nervously attentive to what everybody is doing---that is revealing. It is not possible to avoid engaging in reflexive behavior. The only way we can appear not to engage in reflexive behavior and appear not to reveal ourselves to others---is to engage in collusive games of mutual self-deception. If we all agree tacitly and covertly not to notice our own or each other's reflexive revelations of self through reflexive behaviors---we can pretend that WE ARE NOT BEING REFLEXIVE and that we are not revealing ourselves to each other; and so be ignorant of ourselves and of each other. Then, we and our communities disintegrate in tragic ways --- which we cannot see or hear, because of our self-inflicted blindness and deafness. (c) 2005 by Paul A. Smith in www.essayz.com Search for Integrity and Honesty (On Being Yourself, Whole and Healthy) ==========================================================Lines beginning with a percent sign are KEYWORDS for use in ESSAY-System Searches. Their terminal digits are dates of writing in the format @yymmdd#, where @ = a means 99, @ = b means 20, and # = is a within-date essay-count. Links to date-adjacent essays are near page top & bottom.
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